My Truth
by Ardala91
Summary: Keiya was raised in a way someone should not be...not when they are destined to be a bodyguard. Especially of a Royal. Lu Ten/OC. Mini-series. It does not change the canon of the show.
1. Preludes

Chapter One:

Preludes

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"_There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."_ –Maya Angelou

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar.

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What is a story? It always begins with a basic beginning: introducing the characters, the setting, and their problem. There are many good stories out there, much epic and worthier than my own. Mine has always been simple to me. A truth as I have seen it through my own eyes. My truth. I have always been one to be in the background. The one time when I merged beyond that point…it did not end well. You see, when one is a bodyguard, it is one's purpose to be that way. But unfortunately, I was not raised entirely as I should have been. I will start at a proper beginning as I should. As the telling of a story should go.

My name is Keiya.

The story starts with a man, not just any man, but the bodyguard of Lord Iroh, Dragon of the West. Lord Iroh was once the Crown Prince, but that story is for later. That bodyguard was named Reizo.

He was my father.

A background is necessary, so permit be to give a quick and simple one. As much as it can be. There is a group of bodyguards called the Society. They are the ones who are the most elite of their kind and secretive at best. The Society protects the nobles of the Fire Nation, hiring out their ranks to those who pay the best. There is one tradition that has always been maintained by this group without any fee. That is the protection of the Royals.

This honor, the greatest above all others, falls down to one particular family. It has beyond living memory. Any time a male Royal is born, a child nearest in age is chosen to protect that Royal for life. The child is taken, as any are in the Society, by the age of five for training. To that one family, their child is dead. It is strange to note that most of that honored family does not know of the child's role. Only the mother will know of her child living. It has always been the mothers of that family to carry the burden, with the rare exceptions here and there. The family is minor nobility, so unknown that they would be considered as country nobility that is no better than a city merchant at best.

My father was of that family. Once he had a different name, but upon entering the Society he gave it up. A bodyguard cannot love. Cannot marry. Cannot have friends. All are in distraction to the protection of the charge. Yet Reizo broke every rule possible. He befriended his charge and _married _his childhood love. Another bodyguard. She died giving birth to me. Somehow my father managed to raise me for the first five years of my life. Lord Iroh considered him as a brother. My father loved his charge's son like his own….and Lord Iroh loved me like his own. We were a family once, peculiar as it may seem.

I was raised by a loving father and a doting uncle figure in Lord Iroh. And his son, Lu Ten, was like an older brother to me. He was a few years to my senior and I had always followed him about with puppy eyes as a toddler. My early life was filled with all the love, trust, and security one could ever want for their child. Then there came the day when I was to be taken to the Society, just like my father had been….

* * *

_Lu Ten sat beside me as we sat in the garden. A pond trickled idly to the left of us. We stared up at the clouds together, pondering over what shapes they were. Lu Ten was older than me. Yesterday I had just celebrated my fifth birthday. Father, Iroh, and Lu Ten had thrown me a party of all things. That memory...it still makes me smile. Lu Ten had the promise of looking like his father in some ways, especially with the same dark golden eyes. He was almost as short as me, small for his age. Child roundness still clung to him, but he had a face that would one day have defined angles to it. __Lu Ten was the quiet sort of child. There was a strong determination in him that could be seen once he set his mind onto it. He was kind and with laughter. His father was molding him into a good man and leader. Lord Iroh did not think of raising his son as the heir to the throne after himself. Instead, he raised him only as a beloved son. _

_"What shape is that?" I demanded, pointing with a tiny finger to the blue sky above. The grass tickled my face and bare arms. __Unlike Lu Ten, I was the sort of child who spoke their opinion without a second thought. Much to my father's frustration I am sure. "That one?" Lu Ten repeated. I sat up on my elbow and looked over at his wrinkled brow. Lu Ten smiled with a shake of his head. _

"_That's just a regular cloud." _

_I sat up and pulled some grass out of the ground. "Is not!" I disagreed, throwing a handful of grass at him. Lu Ten sat up instantly and brushed the grass off of his dark red clothes with a sigh. _

"_That's not very mature of you, Keiya." _

_I bowed my head. He was right…and I was supposed to be respectful towards him. Not that it really mattered before. But now…it did. Today I was to be leaving to the Society. I looked at his solemn golden gaze. "When I come back, I'll be mature!" I declared proudly, "I'll be the best bodyguard yet!" _

_Lu Ten did not laugh as others might have at such a bold statement, especially from one years younger than him. "I don't doubt that," He affirmed seriously. _

_I trusted him, loved him, like a brother. "Will you miss me?" I asked. _

"_What kind of question is that?" Lu Ten said with a grin. I tossed another handful of grass at him. I flopped back down at my back, enjoying the warmth of the sun. It felt good to be in the sun's embrace. As a firebender, I held some promise. My father was a good one. My mother…I did not know. Lu Ten was already showing success as a firebender. A perfect son for the Royal family. His mother had died giving birth to him, just like mine had. "Lu Ten, do you think about your mother?"_

_He looked down at me from where he sat. I almost regretted asking him that. His face was so sad, not something I witnessed there often. "Yeah," He said evenly, "Do you?" _

"_I wonder what she was like. Dad doesn't talk about her."_

_Lu Ten smiled sympathetically. "Dad does sometimes…when I've asked about her." Lu Ten plopped down on the ground next to me. "I'm going to miss you," He said quietly. _

_I grinned with all of the pleasure my small face could fit onto it._

"_Keiya?" My father's voice called. I jumped up to my feet immediately. He stood at the entrance to the garden with a calm face. I smiled and ran over to his open arms. Behind me, Lu Ten stayed sitting. My father held me in his warm embrace. "It is time." _

_I looked up at his face. He seemed so wise to me. Strong. Just like the kind of bodyguard I wanted to be. I turned to look back at Lu Ten. His young face was solemn. This was it than. I bowed for the first time I ever had to him. He stood up and walked over slowly. "You shouldn't bow to family," He commanded. Then he hugged me quickly. My father placed a hand on my tiny shoulder from behind me._

"_Your father will be here shortly, Your Highness." My father's deep voice stated. Lu Ten looked up him and nodded his head. I did not look back as him as we walked out of the garden. My lips trembled.

* * *

____My father took me tou our room. I collected my things from the room I had always shared with him. The room was simple and plain. The way my father liked it. "You ready, Keiya?" He called by the doorway. _

"_Yes, Dad," I answered and trotted over to him. Outside of the doorway stood Prince Iroh. He was shorter than my father with a more solid build. His dark brown hair was in a top-knot and an almost full style beard. His dark golden eyes were shining. "This is it, little one," He said. He pulled me into a solid hug. "At last the little turtle-duck swims away." I did not always get the things he said, but I hugged him back with a laugh. _

"_I'm gonna miss you, Iroh!" I said, almost crying. I was excited and ready to make them proud. But I was going to miss them. They were all I knew…this place was the only home I had ever known. __My father took me from Iroh's grasp. The two men looked at each other with something I did not understand. Somehow it looked…sad. My father took my hand into his. As we walked down the passageway, I looked back at Prince Iroh. I was surprised to see tears on his cheeks. _

_After that, my father escorted me to the docks. A simple transport ship was in harbor. I looked at a cloaked figure that stood waiting for us fearfully. The figure looked scary to my young eyes. I was taken aback when my father greeted the hooded person. A hood was drawn back to reveal a middle-aged man. He was plain looking. A face that is easy to forget. Except for his dark eyes. They were sharp. Alert. His very presence spoke of danger. He was a weapon onto himself. Even with my naivety, I could sense that much. "It is good to see you, Reizo," The man said with a neutral tone. _

_My father greeted him with a warm voice. "Keitaro." They grasped forearms. _

"_This is her?" Keitaro asked with a suddenly cold voice. _

"_Her name is Keiya," My father told him. He placed a hand behind me and moved me forward. "Say hi to your uncle." _

"_My uncle?" I asked shocked. "He doesn't look anything like you!" _

_My father chuckled. Keitaro's dark eyes narrowed. "He is your mother's brother."_

"_My mom's brother?" I repeated with a frown. _

"_He is going to look after you," My father explained, "He is the Guardian."_

_My jaw dropped. I knew what the Guardian was. My father had told me the basics of the Society. "That is so awesome!" I said excited. I saw Keitaro shake his head a little. _

"_She is going to need much work," He stated to my father. My father smiled proudly. _

"_I raised her as any child should be." _

"_You know how I stand with that," Keitaro replied curtly, "But that is done now. Does she know not what to speak of?"_

"_Of course, do you think me a fool?"_

_Keitaro's dark eyes gleamed. "I need not say it." _

_"Her name is to remain," My father replied with an edge in his voice. Keitaro's face tightened as he nodded. __I stood there watching them converse. I did not understand all that passed which made me very impatient. My father noticed this and gave me a critical look. __I stopped fidgeting immediately. _

"_The tide will be going out soon," Keitaro stated placidly. "We must leave." My father nodded and knelt down to my level. His golden gaze was entranced with many emotions. I could see the pain in his eyes though. _

"_Be good. Do as you are told," He said slowly, "Listen to Keitaro. Do not speak of what you should not."_

"_Yes, Dad."_

_He hugged me tightly. "Make me proud," He whispered. Then he stood up harshly. "She is ready." __Keitaro held out a hand and I took it. It was callused like my father's. He started to walk across the boarding plank. I turned my small head back. My father's back was to me as he walked quickly down the dock. He did not look back._

_I tried to peer over the railing as we set sail. Keitaro stood next me like a dark shadow. The green island became smaller against the blue sea. The Royal Palace was there…father…Iroh…Lu Ten…__My home..._

_My family._

"_You need to forget them for now," Keitaro's said next to me. I stared up at him in half-awe. "Your training is all that matters now." _

Keitaro was right. I would find my training near impossible at first. For when one has been raised free to express themselves, it is…difficult enter an environment where one cannot. At the tender age of five, I had no idea of what I was getting into.

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A/N:This is a prequel story to my other OC story, Some Distant Day.This is only going to be a short miniseries. Keiya is only a minor character in the other story. I thought she deserved her own story. This will end how the show says it does. I do not change the cannon. Thanks for reading and please review. :)


	2. Impressions

Chapter Two:

Impressions

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_"__Childhood is not only the childhood we really had but also the impressions we formed of it in our adolescence and maturity. That is why childhood seems so long. __Probably every period of life is multiplied by our reflections upon the next.__" -_Cesare Pavese

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar.

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At the age of six, a formal vow is sworn to the charge. This oath is again repeated once one is a full bodyguard, ready to enter the service of their charge. My father had me take such an oath before I left. I learned that in ages past when my kin were in training to protect their royal charge, they would make yearly visits to the Royal Palace. Such a thing was done to learn more about their charge and the surroundings. I did not take such visits.

Till the age of nine, I trained in a class with others my age. There were few of us and all were firebenders. Except one. He was a boy, but strong for his age. In the Society, friendship is not taught. Adversity or just mere distance from each other is encouraged. Like my father before me, I broke the rules. His name was Kin and he was my best friend. He was the proper kind to follow the rules. Kin had dark brown hair that he always had in a proper top-knot. His name meant "golden" which suited him well for his sun touched eyes. Golden eyes are common in the Fire Nation, especially for Firebenders. Though he could not bend, he was a quick learner and determined fighter. Kin was always there to hold me back, mostly from opening up my mouth or getting into too much trouble.

It took me a long time to adjust to the ways of the Society. I had always been one to do what I want with little restriction. Harsh discipline is the teaching method of the masters there. I had marks to show for it. One thing I had to do was not to say or reveal _who_I truly was. Keitaro had me as a member from the family that protected the Royals, but nothing more. There would be…consequences if I was found to be the daughter of Reizo. Especially that fact I had been raised by him and with Lu Ten. I missed my home…father, Prince Iroh, and Lu Ten. Yet after time I thought of them less and less.

I eventually feared that I would forget them. It was then that every memory of them became a treasure to me beyond words. Those things started to slip away from me as well. I could not recall the sound of my father's voice. I could not remember the exact cheerful smile on Iroh's face. I could not bring a clear image of Lu Ten's serious eyes in my mind. Just small things became blurred with each passing year until four years had passed. Than there came the day I found myself in the rock garden where the Honor Stone is. Generations of names are written on its smooth, ebony surface. The greatest of the Society. The black pillar stands high in the center of the garden. At the age of nine, I could only gape up in awe. "My name's going to be on that one day," I declared. I instantly regretted it. My mouth still had a mind of its own. Keitaro's dark eyes stared down at me.

He, like the pillar, towered over me. He seemed a forbidding figure to me. Even if he was my uncle. "Your mother said that to me when we were children," He murmured. I looked up at him in surprise. "You have her eyes." His face was thoughtful. As quick as it had come, whatever it was, it ended. "Of course, her name is not on there," He added with a slight sneer while his face fell back into its neutral mask once more. "I highly doubt your name will ever come close to being engraved there."

This was one of the rare occasions during my four years so far here that I had a visitation with him. Most of the time he had nothing to do with me, much to my joy I assure you. The general sentiment of dislike was mutual. He had not liked me the moment he had set eyes on me! I glared up at his daunting face, ignoring my training and that I was supposed to be respectful. "Yours is not on there," I retorted angrily.

Keitaro's eyes narrowed. My mouth suddenly felt very dry. "You forget yourself." I glared down at my small feet, wanting to say something. Usually I would, but the look in his eyes served as a clear warning. "You are leaving today," Keitaro continued.

My head sprang back up at him. I knew the traditions of the Society. At the age of nine, a single teacher is given a single student. They are instructed by that one master until they achieve the status of a true bodyguard, usually between the ages of fourteen and sixteen. Most did not achieve this until the age of sixteen. But most importantly, a student did not leave the Center. They would leave only when they had become a bodyguard. Anxiety entered me at the idea of my being sent away in disgrace, as a failure! What would my father say? I saw Keitaro's notice this line of thought on my face, though I hid it well enough for my age. Controlling my mouth is a constant struggle, but I could hide my emotions quite well when the need arose. I had been raised to express myself so I found such a thing to be distasteful and suffocating in a way. "Why?" I asked, popping the question out abruptly.

Keitaro's lips turned in displeasure. "What have I said about forgetting yourself?" He threatened darkly. "If you were not leaving I would punish you for such disrespect, but as it is…" He paused and when he spoke again, it was in his usual placid tone. "You will be leaving to join your father. You are to finish your training with him."

I would have hugged him if I had not been terrified of him. I was going to be with my father again! Iroh and Lu Ten! We would be a family again! The fear of losing them disappeared for now I would be with them again. Just as it had been before. I would not have to come back to the Center again. I was to be free of it at last! That thought made me pause for my mind turned to Kin. He would still be here… "What about Kin?" I asked.

"He will remain here as all students _should_."

"But, I want him to come with me!" I protested. He was my friend, my only friend. I was not about to abandon him!

Keitaro's lips curled in vehemence. "We of the Society do not make friends. Such attachments are forbidden."

"But…" I began to argue.

Keitaro's dark eyes were as frozen as the night. "Be silent Keiya."

I held my tongue, even when he later took my by the hand as he escorted me out of the Center. Even when I was bursting to ask once again. I did not take anything with me. Material possessions are not needed to a true bodyguard. When I left the Center, I was imparted with the guilt of not even saying goodbye to Kin. The memory of when we had first met played out before my young eyes….

_I had only been at the Center for two days and was dying to speak out against several other haughty kids in my class. I could not tell them the truth of who I was. Once you enter the Society, all family and such attachments are shed. Thus the giving of a new name when you enter. But I had kept mine…Father had forbidden me to speak of anything about my past, lest other members of the Society should find out. Especially the Elders. It would not have bode well for Father or Keitaro if I had leaked anything. _

_Still, it was hard not to do when two other children are attempting to pick on you. One was a girl with a rounded face of promised beauty at six and the other a boy with angry eyes. They were clearly upset at having been uprooted from their own lives, resulting in them taking it out on the rest of us in the newly formed class. There were eight children all together. _

"_You come from some farmer's family, I bet." The girl taunted with a malicious child's grin. The boy next to her laughed and so did several of the other children nervously. The girl whirled around and glared at the others who had dared to laugh. "Was I talking to you, peasants?" She demanded. She was from a noble family, but I wondered which one. The boy on the other hand carried himself well, but not with the same commanding air. Perhaps a merchant's son? _

"_Yeah," The boy chimed in, "At least I can firebend right, unlike the rest of you!" He held up his palm and created a small ball of fire within it. He held in threateningly towards one of the children who backed away with a fearful look. _

_I had already learned some basics from Father and Iroh on firebending, but nothing unusual for my age. I was no prodigy. The boy was about the same level as I. I was supposed to be good, just like father had told me to. I did nothing, lest I get blamed for the fight. Besides, these kids were more upset then I was. At least I knew the basics of the Society. They knew nothing. _

"_Some of the best fighters aren't firebenders," A young voice interrupted boldly. All heads looked over at one lone boy standing at the edge of the group. He had dark brown hair up in a top-knot with the dark training garb all of us wore. His eyes were the true gold of a firebender and his skin touched from the sun. He held a look of brave defiance. "Piandao was one of the best soldiers in all of the Fire Nation and he isn't a bender."_

"_He deserted the army!" The boy snapped back furiously, "He's a coward." The boy spat on the ground by the brave boy's feet. "You must be like him," He finished with disdain._

_The boy looked back him with angry, but controlled eyes. "It would be an honor if I was ever like him," He said quietly, "He is one of the greatest swordsmen ever." _

"_So, you're not a bender?" The girl chimed in at last. She looked casually over the rest of the group. "At least the rest of them are." She then turned away, converging the message, "You're not worth my time and I am better than you" with that one act. The boy did the same. _

_I stared at the boy, brave or stupid, for being the only one to confront these two bullies. No one else had out of fear or knowing that they might be punished for starting a fight. For that is what it would turn into, especially if I had tried to intervene. I was not used to bullies or the concept of anyone being cruel to one another. For pleasure or for releasing their own pain. The boy connected eyes with me and walked over. I was the only one still looking at him. He nodded. "My name's Kin," He offered first. "What's yours?"_

"_Keiya," I responded. _

_He smiled. "Nice to meet you."_

Now four years later I left him without even saying goodbye…He was the only friend I had ever had in my nine years, outside of Lu Ten. Keitaro took me to the Center's own private cove with a dock. The sky was oppressive with a gray shroud, but uplifting with a warm breeze. He stood beside me on the dock before the ramp onto one of the common ferry ships used in the Fire Nation for travel between its isles. His eyes were cold as ever. "This is where I leave you," He said at last, gesturing towards the ramp way. "This ship is going to take you to your father."

I craned my head back to look up at him. Would I see him again? Part of me hoped not. For all the basic training they had given me in four years with its rough trials and burdens, it was worth it for my future role. But that did not prevent me from hating it. I did not say anything for once because I did not have anything to say. Instead, I bowed properly and started for the ramp way. When I was on deck while the crewmen started to make way for us to sail, I looked back at the dock. Keitaro still stood there, glaring at the ship with an icy complexion.

* * *

It takes only hours to sail to the island where the Royal Palace is at. I bounded down the ramp way as soon as it was lowered with eager legs. For standing at the dock was my father with open arms. I shrieked as I threw myself into his hold. He held my tightly for a minute before he looked down at me. There were _tears _in his eyes. Unshed. But tears never the less. I had not ever seen him cry my whole life. He was not changed from what I remembered, however vaguely. He still had the same shade of light golden eyes that he had said run in his family. I had not inherited that shade of eyes.

Father was a taller, leaner sort of man but with a broad enough builds to not be a thin stick. He had a handsome enough face I suppose, but I was not one to notice that, especially at my young age. There were deeper lines around his eyes and mouth that I did not remember. I was shocked to notice a few gray hairs in his otherwise ebony colored hair. Suddenly it felt strange to be in his arms for I had not seen him for four years. All I remembered was almost vague recollections at times. I stepped away from his hold carefully. "Keiya, you have grown so much!" He remarked with a teasing smile. "I almost did not recognize you."

I could not help the wide smile growing on my face. He was still my father. Nothing had changed. "I missed you!" I cried, throwing myself back into his arms. He held me for a minute while I openly sobbed. _I had missed them so much…more then I had known._

After that, he took me to our old chamber that we had once shared, taking passage by slipping though the servant's discreet hallways. I found our chamber had changed little for it was still plain and simple. His bed still sat in the left corner and mine to the right. Several plain windows lay on the same side with the usual dark red painting decorated the room as most of the palace. The ground was still the same dark red stone. My bed lay in the left corner with its small trunk at its feet. It had not changed a day. Slowly, I walked over and opened the trunk that had once held all of my belongings. Father had raised me to not be too attached to any material possessions, but it had still hurt when Keitaro had openly burned the few possessions I had taken with me to the Society. _"You will not need these possessions;" He had said nonchalantly, "A bodyguard does not care about such things."_

When I opened the trunk, I was not surprised to see that it was exactly as I had left it. Father had probably not even opened it once since I had left. I looked behind me from where I crouched too see him watching me with an unreadable expression. Learning to read people's expressions was something I had begun to master, even the reading of lips. "Dad?" I called out quietly.

He smiled. "I guess I'll have to get you some new clothes. None of your old ones will fit you!" He said lightly.

I laughed. "Can I see Iroh and Lu Ten?" I asked after I had stopped laughing. I rose to my feet and watched him curiously.

"Do you not want to rest first?"

"No!" I said back, static with excitement. My heart was pumping with adrenaline at being reunited with my father and soon the rest of my small family. Part of me still could not grasp the reality that I was _home_.

"Alright," He replied with a sly grin. "Iroh is anxious to see you anyways."

* * *

Father took me to the courtyard where I had last seen Lu Ten. It had been a favorite haunt of ours, as well as Iroh's. It was one of the simple, but larger gardens surrounded by the thick walls of the palace with several open arched gateways. Mostly it was grass with several winding pathways cutting through, but there was one section on the other side of the duck pond with trees and plants. One tree sat over the pond and a simple hooded pavilion was against the pond close by. I stood underneath the gateway, remembering the times I had spent here….

"_You're it!" Lu Ten yelled as I chased him. He laughed with such joy…. _

"_Dad!" I bellowed as both Lu Ten and I tackled him…._

_Iroh ran from Lu Ten as he chased him down while I sat watching with laughter…._

I opened my eyes back up and felt father's hand holding my shoulder comfortingly. "Are you alright, Keiya?"

"I'm fine dad," I answered. My eyes were drawn to where I saw his gaze become directed across to the pond. A familiar figure stood by the pond, but there were two others I did not recognize there. A woman sat in splendid finery beside the standing Iroh, carefully holding a fidgeting toddler in her arms. Who was she? Had Iroh remarried?

"Reizo," The woman called out in a sensual voice when she had noticed our entrance. Father walked towards her and bowed respectfully. I followed him and did the same, but bursting with impatient curiosity.

"Your Highness," He greeted in a familiar tone. I looked up to see Iroh's eyes twinkling as he looked at me.

I could not help myself when I threw myself at him when I saw his arms open for a hug. He held me for a moment before releasing me. "Ursa, this is the little bodyguard I was telling you about," He said warmly, "Though she is not so much a little turtle-duck anymore."

Ursa laughed kindly as she looked at me. She was a beautiful woman in a regal way, but still had a soft look about her. The fidgeting boy toddler in her arms had the same flaxen eyes as she did. He was a beautiful baby. I had not had anything to do with children before. That is how I found myself staring at the small human in question with wondering eyes. He…he was so small! Had I ever been that size? "It's nice to meet you, Keiya," Ursa greeted me kindly, "Iroh has told me much about you." I smiled in return, affected by her natural warmth. "This is my son Zuko," She continued. She released the relentless Zuko with a sigh. I found the toddler plodding very wobbly towards Iroh. Iroh picked Zuko up when he held out his small arms in the demand to be picked up.

"Aren't you kind of old to be a dad again?" I asked bluntly. My mouth had always been free with father and Iroh. I felt the old habit returning to me once more, even before Ursa whom I did not know. She seemed trustworthy for Iroh and father seemed to like her.

Iroh held his head back and laughed loudly. Ursa seemed rather shocked at my comment, but not in an ill way. I looked over to see the quiet amusement in my father's eyes. "He's not mine," Iroh stated with a humored voice, "Ursa is Ozai's wife."

I had not ever met Ozai officially, though we had both dwelt at the Royal Palace. The palace was a large place and father had always had way of getting me out of the way discreetly whenever Ozai had happened to call upon Iroh in the past. This woman was his wife? I did not know anything about Ozai, except for what Lu Ten had told me. They were nothing but distant whispers from a younger child's mind. Nothing solid that I could remember. I knew him to be Iroh's younger brother by a rather larger difference than in years usual for most siblings. "Oh," I said, at loss for words. They quickly returned to me as usual. "Where's Lu Ten?"

"Training at the moment," Father said suddenly. I looked up at his beside me. "You will find Keiya, that he is busy most of the time with his studies. You will not be able to play with him as you did before. You will have your own training to tend too." At the age of nine, I should not want to stamp my feet and wail for what I want. Yet at that moment I did. I had wanted to see my father and Iroh....but most of all I had wanted to see _Lu Ten_. I was not able to hide that emotion from my face for I saw my father frown at me. I looked away. So much for being a matured, new Keiya! All of my training so far should keep me from acting like some six-year old cry baby!

"Your Highness?" A deep masculine voice called. Everyone turned to look at the man striding towards us in simple Fire Nation garb. It was quite similar to what my father usually wore. The man was quite younger in years than my father, but he had similar facial features. He was shorter and more solid in build. He still had the same lean look about him. The resemblance was too striking!

"Yes, Tadao?" Ursa returned. Tadao bowed to her and Iroh respectfully. His face was a neutral mask that Keitaro used. My father had done this before me at times, yet it he had not done when he was in comfortable surroundings. Mainly only with Iroh, myself, and Lu Ten. This man…who was he?

"Your husband requires your presence," He answered her in a blank voice. He extended a hand and helped her up with barely touching her. She took Zuko into her arms from Iroh with a regretful smile.

"I guess it's good timing. I'm sure all of you have lots of catching up to do," She said amiably. She looked at me with a lovely smile. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Keiya."

"You as well," I answered her with a respectful bow. "I like your baby."

She chuckled. "I do too." The man, Tadao, stood next to her with perfect control. It was his eyes; the same shade as my father's that stared at me without even seeming to blink. "Tadao, this is Keiya." She said with a graceful incline of her head towards me.

"I know who she is, Your Highness." He replied stiffly. He bowed towards Iroh once more. "We must go, Your Highness." Ursa followed him without another word. Zuko's head peeped over her shoulder and looked back at me with wondering eyes.

I looked back to my father to see his face in the same placid expression as Tadao's. What was wrong with him? Iroh seemed a little disgruntled himself. "Who is that man, Dad?"

Father placed a hand on my shoulder and looked at me with clouded eyes. "He is my brother," He said shortly, "and Ozai's bodyguard. I want you to stay away from him, including Ozai."

"Why?"

Father's grip tightened on my shoulder. "It is for the best. He knows who you are, but Ozai does not. Pray he does not change that."

I almost gasped. What would Ozai do if he knew of my existence? He might already, but what if he knew Reizo was my dad? What would that do? And how had I not even known my father had a brother? That man…_Tadao_…He was my uncle as well. I suddenly found it strange that my own family I did not know. The only family I had known, Iroh and Lu Ten, were not my true blood relatives. Outside of my father of course.

"Do not think about it any longer, Keiya," My father ordered with a benign smile.

"Turtle-duck, tell me about your training," Iroh called out to me. I looked at his sparkling eyes and went over to him...

* * *

That whole afternoon was spent with Iroh and my father in relaxed conversation. It was just like before…but I knew that would not last now. Tomorrow I would begin my training with father and I had not even seen Lu Ten yet! We had moved from the garden to one of Iroh's general living room spaces for company. A traditional square room with red pillars surrounding it. Furniture was arranged spaciously in the center with two entrances across from each other in the room. There were was the usual Fire Nation banner and several other wall hangings reflecting Iroh's tastes. Such as one with tea leaves. Father was leaning on one of the pillars, still on his guard, even when relaxing. Iroh sat across from me with a steaming cup of tea in his hands. I had passed on that refreshment. I did not like tea. "Personally, I find that tea is a-"

"Dad?"

Iroh's head turned towards the entrance-way to the source of the disruption. _Lu Ten!_His eyes widened as he saw me sitting on the low couch. "Keiya?" He gaped in disbelief.

My small heart pounded quickly as if a dragon were about to attack me. He had changed from what I remembered. Where was the small boy barely larger than myself, even if he was a few years older? The childhood roundness had almost left his face, leaving a more solid chin entitled with a graceful chin line. His face resembled his father's with a more square build. He was lanky with the look of soon entering his teenage years. Lu Ten was _much_ taller than me now, but had the promise of wide shoulders one day. He…he was no longer a child. Where was my friend…my playmate?

"I told you Keiya was returning," Iroh amended with a chortle. He drank his tea contently. Lu Ten stared at me while I stared back. Did he see just a small child?

One thing that had not changed was his eyes. They still held that quiet kindness in there. Even if they were wide with shock at the moment. "Your Highness," I said at last, rising to my feet. I was at loss for what to call him. The edge of his lips had begun to turn upwards but they turned into a tight line.

"Keiya," He returned in abrupt formality. "It's…good to see you."

"You as well." I replied, ignoring the staring eyes of my father. Iroh continued to drink his tea as if oblivious.

"I…ah, got to go change," Lu Ten replied swiftly. "I'll see you at dinner then, father?"

Iroh finally looked up from his tea cup. "Yes, yes," He murmured before returning for another sip.

Lu Ten's gaze came back to me. "Well…until then, Keiya." He then turned around and left the room more quickly than he had entered it. Father's gaze was still on me while I stared at the entranceway. What had just happened? Where was the Lu Ten I had grown up with?

* * *

A/N:I am hoping the long chapter makes up for the lack of updating. At last Keiya is reunited with Lu Ten, Iroh, and her father! Thoughts: Does Iroh seem to be about of character? Please let me know. Thanks for reading and please review.


	3. Face To Face

Chapter Three:

Face-To-Face

* * *

_Infantile love follows the principle: "I love because I am loved."  
Mature love follows the principle: "I am loved because I love."  
Immature love says: "I love you because I need you."  
Mature love says: "I need you because I love you." _

-Erich Fromm

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar.

* * *

It is quite easy in a way to describe the passing of five years. As a young child, I did not realize how speedily time moves on by me. Life settles into a routine and it is hard for one to look beyond that. I found myself training with my father and on occasion with Iroh. My bond to my father and uncle-figure in Iroh was as close as ever. Even a relationship, however formal, was formed with Princess Ursa. She became to me the only mother figure I would ever know. She only ever brought her son with her to Iroh's quarters in the palace. She had a daughter by the name of Azula only months after my own arrival. I saw the babe before she could even walk and had marveled over her.

I had not been around an infant before. By the time Princess Azula was able to walk and speak proficiently enough, that was when she no longer came with her mother. Princess Azula had the eyes of a child who is alert with sharp intelligence. I never found out the reason for why she no longer came. My father kept me cloistered in the part of the palace where Iroh was quartered. I rarely, if ever, had a glimpse of Prince Ozai or his bodyguard Tadao. I heeded my father's command. There was an air about both men that spoke of power and not only in firebending.

Prince Zuko, unlike his sister, usually came with Princess Ursa. He would spend time with Lu Ten, following him around as I once had. Prince Zuko was the stubborn sort of child and prone to feel his emotions passionately. He worshipped his father, admired his uncle, saw a brother figure in Lu Ten, and loved, but envied his baby sister. Most of all he loved his mother. Princess Azula was a prodigy and had their father's favor while he did not. Sometimes the four of them would go to the Royal Family's vacationing house on Ember Island. Father told me that Iroh used to go there with them or sometimes just with Lu Ten. Father always accompanied him of course. But not anymore. Iroh had not gone there since I had arrived. I thought myself to be the reason. Father and Iroh did not want any attention brought on to me. It would not be safe until I was truly Lu Ten's bodyguard. All of my life I knew that this is what I was training for. I had not questioned it for I _wanted_ it. He had been family to me…once I had known him better than anyone in the world. Lu Ten used to call me "little one" in jest with a particular affection.

I had worshipped him.

That was how it had been before I went to the Society. After my return five years ago…things were different. Formal. Distant. It was as if my childhood playmate had vanished, leaving only traces of himself in his appearance. Lu Ten was constantly in training and academical pursuits. It was presumed that one day he would be the Fire Lord for Iroh was the Crown Prince. Lu Ten was several years older than me and was no longer a boy. Our encounters were brief and almost always in the accompaniment of father or Iroh, creating even more ways to avoid conversation with each other. I did not understand this, but it infused bitter anger within me. Thus I avoided him in retaliation for his own staunch rejection of me!

_I believed that he...that he hated me._

As for my own training, I had received the best for my arts at the Society. Father only took what they had begun and polished it into something more. Sometimes Iroh would join in on my training. I did not only learn to hone my firebending, but my mind as well. Reading people is an innate skill to have as a bodyguard, especially the ability to read lips. The Society teaches the basics for fighting with firebending to armed combat. They teach of discretion, scanning a crowd to scoping a place. The basics are who, what, when, where, and how. My kin, such as my father, had even more specialized training for that of a Royal. I was to receive this as he had. And who better then a man who did this every waking moment? It is different to protect a Royal in the palace. There is always a danger lurking about that is not visible. But one must always be ready.

Father taught me that the protection of the charge is the most important. Yet there came other responsibilities with protecting a Royal Heir. One day that Royal will get married and have children. Then the duties extend to protecting them. The charge is always first though. They come in second. I found it frustrating in a way to know that only _males_ of the Royal Family get an individual bodyguard. Their wives or daughters do not. The Fire Nation's views about the place of a woman have changed in the last hundred years because of the war. The Society has always had us in their ranks. Father told me that I was different and special unlike any other before me. None grow up with their charge, outside of the yearly visits. None are raised in an environment where they can be themselves. I was loved and allowed to love. This led me to ask once why he did not speak about his family…

* * *

_At the age of ten, only a year after my return, I had begun to express myself freely again. Not that I could not put up a mask when I needed to. Father was drilling me in a routine practice on learning to read lips when I suddenly asked. "Why don't you talk about your family?"_

_Father stopped and gave me an annoyed smile. "You are my family."_

"_I don't get it!" I snapped, letting out my frustration at last. "Why do you teach me things against what the Society says? Why don't you talk about your family, this family which is supposed to have protected the Royal Family for generations? Why don't you talk about Tadao….he's your brother!?"_

_I did not know anything about this great family I was supposed to be a part of. I did not know anything about who my father had been before me. My father let out a long sigh. "That is a lot of questions, Keiya." He responded with brooding eyes. "I do not know if you are mature enough to understand these things."_

_That word…mature….I had claimed once that I would come back that way. Not that __**he**__ cared at all now. "I am ready," I insisted. "Tell me!"_

_Father shook his head. "That demand to know reveals you are not."_

"_Will you eventually tell me?"_

"_When you are ready," He answered me softly with a pat on the head. "Now let us get back to what we were doing."_

I was lucky to have my father to train me. I did not understand completely why at the time, but I do now. Yet I wonder if it was not also a curse….

Father had network already in place in the Royal Palace that would one day be passed on to me. Another blessing. Any other new bodyguard for a Royal in the past would have had to establish their own. I knew the palace inside and out, except for certain areas belonging to other members of the Royal family of course. Except for my natural curiosity for those questions, I was entirely content with my life. I had my family again…almost. My training was difficult, but it gave me pleasure with every passing victory and achievement. I am not a firebending prodigy like Princess Azula. But neither am I weak. The age of fourteen is the earliest age when one can become a bodyguard. At the age of fourteen and soon approaching fifteen within months, I wanted it. I believed myself to be ready.

One day, while mulling over this desire in meditation, I sat by the favorite pond of Iroh and Princess Ursa. I was underneath the pavilion, enjoying the shade from the radiant sun. The dark wood was cool underneath me. Warm, humid air breathed around me; reminding me of the scorching sun. I opened my eyes at the sound of two familiar footsteps along the nearby path.

Princess Ursa and Prince Zuko.

She strolled along in her usually elegant garb and Zuko in his stiffer looking outfit. Red colored as always. I tended to wear simple outfits of darker shades that were easy to maneuver in and generic. My father did the same. Princess Ursa smiled at me as she steered towards my direction. Seven year old Prince Zuko had a sour expression on his face. I stood up immediately and bowed. Ursa was a woman I was in awe of and one of the only members of my own sex I had any association with. Formality was a basic of our relationship and our encounters usually in the accompaniment of others: meaning Iroh, father, and sometimes Lu Ten.

"Hello Keiya," She greeted warmly.

"Your Highness," I responded with a nod. She was a beautiful woman. I wondered if I would ever hold a candle to her in comparison.

"Say hello Zuko," She said sternly to her son. She held his small hand in her own while he looked at me sulkily.

"Hello," He muttered annoyed.

Princess Ursa held an apologetic smile. "Forgive him," She explained, "He's in a bad mood because he forgot Nira's name when she swore her oath."

_Nira?_....That name had been my mother's! What was she talking about? "I'm sorry, but I have no idea of what you're talking about." The way I spoke had tortured Keitaro almost more than my mouth had. He could not cure me of my "improper" speech for a bodyguard. Father did not have a problem with my speech. I had learned to control my mouth now. For the most part that is.

Princess Ursa appeared startled. "Oh? I had thought…." She paused with a genuine frown. "Nira is to be Zuko's bodyguard. She came to swear her formal oath today."

This meant that this girl, Nira, was my kin through my father. It was his family, our family, which had protected the Royal Heirs for generations! I pondered over why she had _that _name. "Is she still here?" I asked hopefully, curious to meet her. Around Princess Ursa and Prince Zuko I was comfortable enough to show my emotions freely.

"No, she left with Keitaro," She answered me with a thoughtful expression. "She has the most unusual color of eyes." Ursa looked down at her son who was scuffing the ground in boredom. "What did you think Zuko?"

"Next time she better want to play!" He snapped. "She was so…." He huffed and tugged his hand from his mother's. Prince Zuko stalked off towards the pond before us.

_She had mentioned Keitaro._

"He wasn't happy with the idea of a bodyguard," Princess Ursa added with eyes on her son, "Even now at this age he wants to prove himself strong."

"Because of his father?" I blurted out. Ursa made it easy to talk to her…too easy at times. She seemed startled but not angered. No matter what, I had a mouth.

"Yes," She admitted quietly.

My mind was centered on the person she had mentioned. "You said Keitaro was with her?" I questioned, changing the topic.

She nodded gracefully. "Yes," She responded in her silken voice. "He appeared to be in good health." I considered how well she knew Keitaro. He was the Guardian after all. Most of the Royals knew little about the ways of the Society. They liked it that way.

I gave her a cautious smile. "Did you know he is the Guardian?" I queried innocently.

"Of course."

"Of course," I murmured. Somehow I was not surprised.

"That girl has a nice name," Ursa commented in her musical voice. "Did you know that it means loom?"

As in the devise weavers used? I found that peculiar, but Nira was a solid Fire Nation name. It is not too common and it is not to unusual either. Somehow the meaning almost seemed fitting to me. My mother….for the first time in years since early childhood I thought about her. _Who was she?_ Ursa's kind gaze looked at me in concern. "No, I didn't," I replied swiftly. I looked away from her considerate eyes. "Excuse me, Your Highness," I said with a bow.

Ursa smiled eloquently. "Good day Keiya." I walked away quickly, confused by one simple thing. _Why did hearing my mother's name bother me?_

* * *

Over the next few months I was harassed by that one delightful thing. It irked me and I did not know why. Life continued as it had for the last five years. I trained. Father and Iroh were always there. And Lu Ten…it was still the same formal distance. Then there came the day when I discovered that I would be _alone _for father and Iroh were leaving…

I was sitting on one of the couches in Iroh's general living space, reading over a document of Iroh's about strategic warfare. He had some bland books of that type. Father's familiar footsteps greeted me as he entered the room. His golden eyes were distant as he sat down next to me. I set the book aside with a twinge of suspicion. "What is it, dad?"

His face turned towards me and it was hard. "Iroh and I are leaving," He stated coldly.

"What?" I gasped. "Why?" This could not be happening! I _needed _them!

Father's face twisted into a dark smile. "The war, Keiya. Iroh is going to the warfront."

"But…."

Father's eyes were embroiled with feeling. "He is a general. Iroh has been planning this for months," He paused. "He is going to capture Ba Sing Se."

I almost gasped. I knew of the impenetrable capital city of the Earth Kingdom. Who did not? The war has always seemed a distant thing to me. Here in the Royal Palace it barely touched me. Now…now it was taking two important people from me. I had not ever thought much about the war, but now it filled me with a sense of dread. Iroh had done other military campaigns of course. They had all been before I could remember or possibly in my absence. "Can't you stay?" I asked with a slight plea.

"No. I am his bodyguard."

I turned my head away to hide my troubled face. I pushed away the thought of never seeing him again or Iroh. "Please don't go."

"I have to, Keiya."

"When are you leaving?"

"At the end of the week," Father said quietly. "After I leave Keitaro will come here."

This made my head snap back in his direction. "Why?" That man….my uncle…I _hated _him!

"He is going initiate you."

I paused and took in his words. I…I was going to be made a true bodyguard at last! I threw my arms around my father in jubilation. He held me in his arms. "I am sorry I will not be here to see it," Father said regretfully. "Eventually you will join us. Lu Ten will come to serve in his first true campaign under Iroh."

I looked up at my father's face and saw the proud glint in his eyes. "I am proud of you Keiya."

I hugged him back in response, basking in the glorious future that awaited me. I ignored my fears for my father and Iroh. Soon I was going to be a bodyguard and would join them in the Earth Kindom. Lu Ten….I was going to be with him again.

That last week before they left I spent with father and Iroh as much as possible. Iroh had been humorous as always, not letting any worry come to expression. He was an experienced general, but never the less I still worried for him. The last day I was in the room I shared with my father, sitting on my bed and staring at his. He would be gone soon. "Keiya?" His voice called out. He stood at the doorway and walked over to sit down beside me. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah…I'm just worried."

"Do not be," He said while mussing my hair. "I have not lived this long unscathed to die now."

I scowled and brushed his hand away. He knew I hated it when he did that. "Dad, before you go…will you tell me about my mother?" Father took in a sharp intake of breath. "Princess Ursa told me about Zuko's bodyguard. She…she has mother's name. Did you know about her?"

"Yes," Father admitted while looking straight ahead. His eyes were distant. "Keitaro gave her that name."

"Why?"

"I do not know," Father responded tightly. "Your mother was his sister, keep that in mind."

"Why don't you talk about her?" I demanded.

Father looked at me with pained eyes. "You have her eyes," He said in a thickened voice. "Every time I look at you I am reminded of her." Keitaro had said something similar to me once. "She was like you in a lot of ways."

"How did you know her?"

"We grew up together in the Society. Keitaro was only a year older then her. We were all friends once," Father explained while looking back at me at last. "She died to bring you into this world. You are all I have left of her."

I looked at him, pondering over his words. "I wish I could have known her."

"She would be proud of you," Father said with a sincere smile. "Now come, we must be getting to the docks." He rose to his feet without another word and I followed.

At the docks there was a truly grand ship, military wise, for Iroh. I assumed he had already had a fanfare goodbye from his father, the Fire Lord, and the rest of his family. It was on the dock that I discreetly said goodbye. "I'm going to miss you," I said truthfully, giving him a quick hug.

Iroh beamed at me. "Keep an eye on Lu Ten for me," He said warmly, "Little turtle-duck and don't forget to make sure that the gardener tends to my garden!" His dark golden eyes, the same as Lu Ten's, were alight. "I'm proud of you," He continued, "Soon you'll be joining us with my son, so don't be sad." I lowered my eyes. Was it that obvious? I hugged him once more and turned to my father.

"Be good," He said simply while hugging me. "I will see you soon." That was a lie. I would not see him again for months!

I smiled. "I love you dad."

His face split into a fatherly grin, chasing away his mask. "I love you too." Then he slipped away with Iroh onto the ship. Lu Ten had already said goodbye to them. It was like he avoided me in every way possible! The great iron ship cut through the water, eventually disappearing in the blue horizon. I watched from the dock till it was no longer in my sight.

* * *

Three weeks passed without a sight of Lu Ten. Sometimes I would see him slipping into his quarters, but I never did catch him. I trained by myself and almost went crazy with the absence of father and Iroh. It was weird for them to be gone. It was too silent. The only company I did have was the occasional run-ins with Princess Ursa. Other than that, I kept to myself as I always had. Then eventually Keitaro came. It was only two days after my birthday that had passed without any notice. _Usually father and Iroh would celebrate it with me…._

He had slipped into the room I had shared with father, startling me with his slippery entrance. I looked up to his profile standing at the door, watching me with icy eyes. He had not changed a day. "You should be more on guard," he said at last, breaking the frigid silence between us.

"I knew you were there," I said back calmly as I rose to my feet from my bed. Keitaro knew I was lying but he did not express that.

"Let us get this done with," He replied placidly. "I want to be on my way as soon as possible."

I nodded in acknowledgement.

"Where is your charge?"

"I…I don't know," I admitted, loathing to say theoe words to him. "He's probably training."

Keitaro's face was filled with a tense victory. "I see," He said with disgust. "Let us find him then."

Luckily, Lu Ten was in his quarters. He opened the door with widened eyes when Keiataro knocked on it. I realized that this was the closest I had been to Lu Ten since….

He was a man now. There was no childhood roundness left on his limbs. His wide shoulders had filled out at last. His dark hair was in a top-knot with new sideburns I had not seen before. The eyes were guarded when they met mine. "Who are you?" He asked simply.

"Keitaro."

Lu Ten's face acknowledged him. "Father told me about you. Come in." He opened the door wider and Keitaro went in. I followed behind him. Lu Ten shut the door behind us. Lu Ten's room had changed since I had last been it. Not since…not since before the Society. It was no longer a child's room.

Keitaro immediately took charge. "You know the words, Keiya?" He questioned.

"Yes."

"Then get this done with," He said shortly. He bowed to Lu Ten. "May she continue?"

He looked at me with unflinching dark golden eyes. _Lu Ten_…He nodded sharply. I knelt before him and looked down at the ground as I had done once…at the age of six years old. I recited the same words as I had then. "My body and my mind are your shield and weapon. I swear my oath to serve you loyally. I am your protection. I am the life that would die for you. I exist to serve you. I will always follow you." I looked up at Lu Ten as the last words fell from my lips.

"Thank you Keiya." He said elegantly. "I know you will serve me well."

I rose to my feet and looked at Keitaro. His dark eyes were unreadable. "It is done. You have the status of a full bodyguard." He turned without another word to leave.

"Will I see you again?" I called out.

He did not turn to face me. "You better hope not." Keitaro left without another word, silently and as quietly as he had come.

I looked over at Lu Ten's face, seeing a mask there similar to that of Keitaro. Something pained my throat all of a sudden. The room became too small and I felt very alone. I did not know what to say to him. My mouth was at long last stilled by not being able to say anything.

"You told me once you would come back a mature bodyguard," Lu Ten said abruptly, almost making me jump out of my shoes. I looked at his guarded face. "You did come back changed."

"Is that why you avoided me?" I retorted. I clasped my hand over my mouth in horror. _Had I really just said that?...Stupid! Stupid!_

Lu Ten's face broke from his proper demeanor into one of surprise. He held himself in a straight trained posture. One of a warrior. "You were the one who avoided me!" He snapped in return. His voice….his face…was marred with _pain_.

"I only did it in return because you did! You….you had changed!" I started to respond with a rising voice. In the last minute we had exchanged more words then we had in years. "You acted like you hate me!"

Lu Ten looked at me in shock. "You think I hate you?"

"Yes!" I bellowed. I was stunned by my own intense reaction. Why was I acting this way?

"I don't hate you," Lu Ten replied in a low voice. "I had thought that the girl I loved as a sister was gone."

I turned away to brush away frustrated tears from my eyes, lest he see them. _He did not hate me!_ I was ecstatic to know this but knew there was some sort of resentment. Why else would he have acted that way? "I have to go," I muttered, trying to keep my voice from blubbering. I exited the room without a backward glance. I had to think…to take in his words. Yet somehow his earnest words, _"girl I had loved as a sister"_ penetrated me with a prickling needle of dislike.

* * *

A/N: Keiya has started to grow up at last and now how will things go with it only being her and Lu Ten? Well, thanks for reading and please review. I am wondering if the characters from the show, such as Iroh and Ursa seem to be in character enough?


	4. Fire Within

Chapter Four:

Fire Within

* * *

"_Love must be as much a light as it is a flame."_ –Henry Thoreau

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar.

* * *

After that meeting, things were…different. Suddenly instead of avoiding each other, we slowly began to learn to function around one another. As his official bodyguard, I was now around him almost twenty-four hours. My father would only sleep in rotations for several hours, then checking on Iroh, then another rotation during the night. He had taught me that those are dangerous hours when an assassin could slip in. A bodyguard cannot be lazy, especially in the Royal Palace. I took that teaching to heart, furthering it even more then father had…

It was the morning after my oath had been sworn. We had avoided each other the rest of that day. I opened my eyes and carefully stretched out my arms. The wood panel behind me was hard as the floor was. The hallway was large enough, but private for it was in Iroh's quartered rooms. A door sat across from me. The wooden barrier seemed forbidding in the torched light. I realized that next time I should sleep in front of it. It would be much more difficult for an assassin not to trip over me than!

It was still quite early. I paused, wondering if he was awake yet. Once…Once I had known his habits. Sometimes I had used to sneak into his room and would fall asleep beside him. He had used to hold my hand. _"Go to sleep, little one," his child-self said firmly. "I'll order your bad dreams away."_

"_How can you do that?" I had mumbled half-asleep, trying to keep my four-year old eyes open. _

"_I'm a prince," he had said simply. _

The door before me opened and I stumbled to my feet. My legs were a little…cramped. Lu Ten's eyes narrowed as he stared at me. His figure stood in the doorway, but to me seemed distant and _powerful_. "Did you sleep here?"

"Yes," I answered, not looking away. I am sure my appearance was disheveled.

"All night?"

"Yes."

Lu Ten looked at me confounded. "Why?" He was taller than I had thought. My head was at the perfect level to tuck underneath his chin…

I shook my head. _What kind of thought was that?_ "It's my duty to protect you," I replied with a careless shrug.

Lu Ten shook his head slowly. "This is just plain stupidity. Don't do this again." His eyes were trained on mine.

I did not look away. On these things, his wishes would have to be discounted. Even if…

"No," I said quietly. "Your protection is above all else."

"You won't stop then?"

"No."

Lu Ten let out a long sigh of frustration. "I hope this doesn't mean you'll have to be with me when I change and bathe."

I led out a strangled noise that was half a laugh and of _embarrassment_. I looked at Lu Ten with warm cheeks, surprised to see the old twinkle in his eyes. He was _teasing _me! "I'm only teasing, Keiya," He added quickly. "Don't get all testy because of it."

"Testy?" I finally managed to spew out. I was immensely irritated with that statement. He thought I was testy? What about himself for the last five years?! "You think…I…?!"

Lu Ten chuckled loudly. "You always weren't a morning person," He commented. Suddenly his warm smile of familiarity disappeared, replaced by the distant formality. "I'm sorry, but I must be getting to my training session." He walked on by me and I followed with a burning face. Lu Ten stopped when he noticed I was following him. "What are you doing?" He demanded patiently with a turn of his head.

"I _am_ your _bodyguard_."

He let out another long sigh and walked on without another word.

* * *

After that, the following week commenced in a similar fashion. I followed him about, relearning his current habits. Obviously there were times when he was given certain privacy, but otherwise I was at his side. When he would train, by himself or with his teacher, I would watch or train myself. I quickly grew to admire Lu Ten for his determination and skill. Granted he was no master, but he had the talent of being one someday. Besides, he was a far better firebender then I was and several years ahead in training because of his age. Lu Ten had grown and changed beyond the child I had known, but I had too. Change is part of life; I have begun to understand that now. Occasionally, he and I would converse, even reminiscing over old childhood memories. I will not forget the moment near the end of that week, when he called me something he had not for an age…

Lu Ten and I were in the garden with the favored pond, sitting near its edge as we once had as children. It was one of those hours in the day that was his free time. We sat side-by-side, each lost into each other's thoughts I suppose. "I miss father," Lu Ten stated, bringing him to my attention. I looked at his thoughtful face. "And Reizo."

I tricked my hand in the pond water. "I do too."

"I'm going to join father soon in his campaign," Lu Ten reported in a serious tone. "I'll be leaving in several weeks." My heart leaped at the news. Soon we would be with them! _Our family would be whole again_!

"That's great news!" I replied joyfully. I looked up at his face, but was surprised to see a peculiar shadow in his dark flaxen eyes. "What's wrong?"

Lu Ten straightened his shoulders, his dark golden eyes clouded, making them unable to be read. "Little one, I want you to remain _here_."

"What?" I yelped, standing up immediately. I stood over the sitting Lu Ten with a glowering posture. Yet a part of me flickered like a weak flame within. He had called me…_little one…_just like he had used to. "I am your bodyguard, Lu Ten! Does that mean nothing to you? I am here to protect you!"

Lu Ten looked back at the pond with a brooding face. "I knew you wouldn't understand," He muttered. He rose to his feet and stalked off without another word. It was at times he would stun me with something like this in the last week. There was no way in Agni he was going to make me remain behind!

It was these furious thoughts that Princess Ursa found me when she came to the pond with her usual companion, Prince Zuko. He was easily distracted by her suggestion to go find Lu Ten and spend time with him. She settled herself down next to me with an easy grace. "Is everything alright, Keiya?" She asked in soothing tone.

I glared down at the water. "Your nephew thinks to leave me behind when he leaves for the warfront!" I snarled. "What kind of moron is he? I know I have no experience in war, but neither does he!"

Ursa settled a tranquil hand onto my shoulder. She did not ever touch me. I looked up at her in surprise. "What's really wrong?" She asked me again.

"I…I'm afraid to go," I admitted with slumped shoulders. "I'm a coward," I muttered in loathing.

"It's normal to be afraid of such a thing. Iroh and your father are afraid."

"How do you know that?" I asked, searching her calm eyes.

She smiled sweetly. "I know them very well. The looks in their eyes…It is the same you have now."

"A bodyguard probably shouldn't act this way," I confessed with a shamed face.

"You're human," Ursa responded with a gentle squeeze on my shoulder. "And I think you're more afraid of losing someone then the war itself."

Her words spoke exactly of what I felt. Ever since Iroh and father had left, I had held that fear at bay. Yet now Lu Ten and I were going there. _What if I lost one of them? _I shook that fear away from myself. "Why is Lu Ten being as stubborn as a young Komodo-Rhino?" I asked, trying to turn the conversation away from myself.

Ursa had a smile on her face that was brilliant with some sort of established truth. "He cares about you," She explained in a sunny tone.

_The words from before rang in my mind. "I had thought that the little girl I loved as a sister was gone," His voice said with slight bitterness._ _The words stung like razors, thought I did not understand why…_

"He has an odd way of showing it," I said with an undertone of a growl. "Why can't he just let me do what I was trained to do?"

Ursa still had that knowing smile on her face that was starting to irk me. "Think about it, Keiya." She looked at my eyes searchingly. "Think about why _you_ are acting this way."

"I….I…do care about him," I stuttered out. "He was like my brother to me once."

"And now?"

"I don't know!" I snapped. I instantly bowed my head in apology. Who was I to speak to her that way? "Forgive me, Your Highness."

"It's alright," She answered, lifting her hand away from my shoulder. "I have to go find Zuko now. I'm sure he's driving Lu Ten crazy by now." She rose to her feet and I did so to bow goodbye. She inclined her heard smoothly. "You should think beyond what you see, Keiya." With those last words, she seemed to float away from the garden with her lady's walk. I did not walk like a lady, but like a warrior. I shook my head at the random thought. What was with me? I am a bodyguard. I cannot let Lu Ten tell me when I can and cannot be one! He…He…!

That night I sat in front of his door in attempted meditation, but still on the alert. I could hear Lu Ten getting ready for sleep through the door. The floor beneath me was cool and hard, but comforting. I had argued with him again, but knew I had won. There would be no more talks of me not coming with him. His angry stalking away from me had left me furious in return. _What was he to me?_

"_And now?" Ursa's voice echoed in my thoughts. _

I had told her I cared about him. That he had been like a brother to me once. And now…

_Now…I…He…_

It hit me like a comet. A simple truth…._my truth…._

_I love him. _

But not as my brother.

I had always believed that I knew what I wanted and that I knew my own mind. This new understanding of my own feelings toward him shook that belief. I sat in the hallway, lost in my thoughts and feelings. What was I going to do? I had learned that when I want something, I should go for it, within moral reason. Father had taught me that love is a good thing, a gift that should be followed, not rejected.

_What was I going to do?_

* * *

During the next two weeks before we would leave, I found myself centering on things I had before, but with less notice. The look in his eyes when he was amused by a joke of mine or the way the light hit his hair. It was all of these small things that were priceless to me in a way I would not have imagined. _…Lu Ten…_

Our relationship deepened slowly with each passing day. We were constantly in each other's company once again. We had done this as children, but now…now it was different. In a way that was more precious and beautiful to me then he knew. Two weeks later, Lu Ten and I were on a ship bound for the Earth Kingdom. It was not the typical military vessel, for it was ship meant for the transportation of a favored Royal. There was enough special Royal guard there for me to want to push them all overboard. I was enough for his protection! I seemed to have developed a streak of…jealousy…when it comes to his protection.

Princess Ursa had bid me farewell with Lu Ten in her usual kind way. I…I will miss her. Prince Zuko had ignored me completely to say goodbye to his beloved cousin. There had been a plush ceremony to bid Lu Ten farewell, courtesy of his grandfather, the Fire Lord. I had seen the old man for the first time from a distance. I had melded into the background during the whole celebration, keeping a careful eye on Lu Ten. After that, we were on the viewing deck of the ship, gazing out the paned windows at a dark sea. The Fire Nation had long ago disappeared into the horizon. Lu Ten stood starkly next to me with brooding eyes on the sea. Was he afraid? If he was, he did not show it at all.

It was his eyes, the same as his father's, that I loved the most. There is a sincere look within the darkened flaxen color that has a way of settling any doubts to rest. Lu Ten has a way of speaking to the men he now commands that makes them want to follow him, even if he is a raw beginner in their eyes.

Lu Ten titled his head to look at me, catching me in the act of staring at him. "Have you seen enough?" He asked with a slight smirk.

I turned my head away to stare out the window. "You seemed upset," I mumbled clumsily.

"Is it that obvious?" He returned in a surprised voice. I looked back at his face to see his troubled eyes. He gripped his hands behind himself tightly.

"Tell me," I said in a low voice, lest the men nearby hear us. Lu Ten made a noise of consent.

"I am not supposed to be afraid," He said in a strained tone, "But I am."

I extended my hand cautiously. It seemed eternity before I touched his forearm lightly. I saw his flicker down to my pale hand against his dark sleeve. "I am too," I admitted in a hushing tone. His face held a look of silent empathy. Lu Ten put his other hand over the top of mine. His hand was larger with calluses, but warm and comforting. He did not say anything. Instead, he squeezed my hand in one single gesture.

* * *

A room next to his has been assigned to me, but I have kept the tradition I made in the last several weeks of sleeping in front of his door. Iron does not make a comfortable or warm sleeping spot. I miss the hallway in comparison. Lu Ten had entered to retire several hours before. It was in the middle of the night by now. It was our fourth night on the ship. The crew was quite large, but had accepted the fact of my nightly sleeping post. The red lights created an eerie red glow in the dark, narrow hallway. I could hear every clank of anyone's steps and the groaning metal of the ship. It was not a pleasant place to sleep.

I was startled to feel the freezing iron door against my back begin to nudge open. I scrambled to my feet as the door opened with a whine. Lu Ten had shed his usual formal armor for a simple pair of pants and a loose long-sleeved shirt. Colored red, of course. He held the door open with an unreadable face.

"Lu Ten?"

He seemed to be shaken out of his reverie and gave me a small, reassuring smile. "I thought, err…" He paused. Lu Ten was one to say something smoothly and collected if he had anything to say at all. He always considered his words carefully. Lu Ten was…usually not a klutz with his words. "Are you cold?" He asked quickly in recovery.

"Well…yeah," I replied in mild confusion. "But I'm fine," I added hastily. I could not help but to notice how the shirt emphasized his broad shoulders. I slapped the thought away. I had decided not to act on my sentiments. I planned on discussing on it with father. He would know what the right thing was!

Lu Ten's hand trailed down the door to hang at his side. "Of course you are," He said in a low voice. His hand went to the door handle to shut it. "Good night, Keiya."

"Good night, Lu Ten." He shut the door quietly, but the sound haunted my ear drums as I sank back down against the door. I was confused about my newfound feelings.

_What was the right thing?_

I…I am his bodyguard and he is a _prince_. And not just any prince, but the only son of the Crown Prince! Iroh's and Lu Ten's positions had not disturbed me before. It was only now the reality of it impacted me. I had been raised in a safe little bubble with them. My father had kept me ignorant in a way of the true reality of their status. How could he have done this to me?!

Life on the ship was more eventful then at the palace. Lu Ten acquainted himself with the men and even dined with them. He drilled with them and learned to know every man under his command. Technically, the entire ship was under his command, but he left the crew and the ship under the captain's command. He only concerned himself with his unit, especially considering the fact he knew little about the functions of a ship. It was only his unit that would leave with us. Lu Ten was to bring his additional troops to aid his father.

The ship was loud and obtrusive to me for I was used to the tranquility of the palace. I did not associate with anyone in the crew or Lu Ten's command. It was not proper bodyguard etiquette, but I also did not want to. I was not used to being around many people. This caused me to stick to Lu Ten even more. Naturally, I analyzed anyone near Lu Ten for any possible threats. There was a general curiosity from the crew about me I suppose, but none bothered to approach me.

In the meantime, our…friendship became closer in ways and yet further apart. When we were in front of the others, we went into our proper roles. It was when we were alone, unseen by the public eye, that it was more what it like had been before…

* * *

We were in his room. He sat on a cushioned pillow before a low table in the center of the metal room, pouring over a map of the Earth Kingdom. He was retracing the path we would take by land to Ba Sing Se from one of the Fire Nation colonies, trying to take in every little detail. I leaned against the wall across from him, casually playing with a flame in my hand. It was like a small heartbeat that I could make larger or crush within my palm. Such power within such a small thing. I looked from my fire for a moment to see Lu Ten's eyes on me. He quickly looked back at his map without a word.

I went back to the fire hovering at my palm. I could crush it so easily if I desired too…

"Father once said to me that love is like fire," Lu Ten declared boldly. I looked at him from the fire in surprise. "He said that it can consume you or give you life."

"I don't agree with that."

Lu Ten set the writing brush in his hand down with a thoughtful look. "Why is that?"

My eyes were drawn back the withering flame. It burnt red and gold hues. "Love can be quiet…going unnoticed and when it is, it's a thing that brings you light."

I smothered the flame without another word and looked back at Lu Ten. His expression was one of being taken aback, but not in an ill way. He pursed his lips in thought. "I agree with you, little one," He commented at last.

_He had said it again…that name…_

"Why do you call me that?"

Lu Ten smiled, which created a natural glow in his eyes. "I used to call you that. You liked it back then."

I shrugged and brushed my shoulder as if I did not care. "It's fine. You're the prince after all," I stated dauntlessly.

Lu Ten chuckled under his breath and went back to his work. How much did he know or realize, I wondered. _I hoped…_

I paused and held my breath, silently berating myself. Part of me wanted…yet was it right? And what if…what if he did not feel the same? What then? And the Society had forbidden such things…but father had…

What was the right thing?

* * *

A/N: Here it is, the fourth chapter of this miniseries! What do you think of Keiya's newfound realization? And of Lu Ten? Thanks for reading and please review.

* * *


	5. Flames

Chapter Five:

Flames

* * *

"_For love is strong as death, passion as fierce as the grave; its flashes are flashes of fire, a raging flame."_ –Unknown

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar.

* * *

Travel by foot is a slow paced and grueling process. There is always the threat of attack by Earthbendersor soldiers of the Earth Kingdom army. We travelled as any unit of the army would. There were occasional run-ins with the enemy, but they were quickly over. Either by their defeat or their running away as the cowards they are! What a dishonorable act! The Fire Nation principle is to never give up. If one does, what honor do they have left?

The war had not touched me back in the Royal Palace. It had seemed such a far thing. Yet here it was, our daily truth, for we were travelling through parts of enemy territory. Fire Nation children are taught that the other nations, such as the Earth Kingdom, are uncivilized in their culture and bending compared to ours. The war is to help them so that we may share our greatness with them. Somehow that did not entirely seem to fit with what I saw with my own eyes. Any villages we passed through, controlled by the Fire Nation, had the eyes of a frightened and angered people. There was poverty everywhere. In enemy villages, which we usually avoided, there was outright violence to us, even if just in their words. There are many more things I could write about on this matter, but it only leads to a melded confusion. It is not my place to question this, but I wonder, what would Iroh and my father say?

The short battles I write about were never threatening. Lu Ten proved himself to be an exemplary fighter and leader in the eyes of his men. As for me…I did what I had to do. I had not ever been in a real battle before, even if it was just a skirmish. I will not ever forget our first run-in with the Earthbenders in a surprise attack…

* * *

We were at the head of the line. Lu Ten was riding on a Komodo-Rhinoceros, as was I. The one I rode was not pleased with the dust it breathed in from the winding, dirt road. There was a rough wall of a mountainside to my right and a jagged cliff to my left. We were currently plodding our way through a small mountain range. This caused the formation to be thin and long for the troops. We had just marched off from the port a month prior and had finally entered enemy territory several days earlier. No sign of the enemy yet. The sun spat down on us unmercifully.

I was wearing armor for the first time in my life since leaving the colony. We had only stayed there for a week in preparation for the march. It had been Lu Ten's idea, his excuse that we were actually in war. I detested the heavy weight of the armor and the way the heat encased itself inside. I was used to the freedom of simple garb that allowed movement. Armor is stifling. Lu Ten had his own tent at night, centered in the middle of the encampment each night. A tent is different from a room. It is vulnerable. Instead of his door side as my bed, it was now the floor beside his sleeping pad. Lu Ten had not been pleased with that. I smirked as I recalled his scowling face. I always seemed to win the arguments these days…except for the armor one. My smile slowly melted away as my eyes centered on Lu Ten's back in front of me. He rode his steed with such a calm confidence.

My chest clenched as I looked at him. I blamed the rising dust in the air. It was tormenting…to feel this way, but too afraid…

…to…

I still did not know. What would my father say?

A startled cry sounded the alarm from behind me. I twisted my back around sharply to see a huge boulder bursting out of the mountainside, sending troops over the edge of the cliff. The fall is…a long way down. "Earthbenders!" Was the clamoring yells from the men. Most of these men were experienced soldiers, already having served in the Earth Kingdom before. Only a few were untried and they were the ones to yell the obvious. The other men grimly and quickly returned the attack. Lu Ten assumed command, ordering the already fighting men to attack. The attack by the Earthbenders was clever, for the Earthbenders were aboveus on thin ridges lining the mountainside. They had the high ground. A flash of movement caught my eye meters aboveme. I sent a blast of orange fire at the narrowed ridge above me. The energy of my bending streamed through my veins, flickering the flame within my chest with the fiery power of firebending.

There was a cry as a man in green fell over; his clothes were caught on fire. He landed face down on the ground beside me with a sickening thud. I glanced at his unmoving form. The sight of his body caused bile to rise in my throat. The stench of burnt skin perfumed the dusty atmosphere. Shouts of men, the grinding and shaking of earth, and the hisses of fire danced in the air. Not all the men in the unit were firebenders and I could hear the whistling sounds of them throwing spears at the Earthbenders. They were partially successful in their throws, but the enemy had the advantage.

Lu Ten was shouting orders ahead of me, while sending his own punches of furrowing flames at the cliffside. My eyes stared back at the man that I had _killed_. He was the enemy. Yet…this was the first time I had killed anyone…

"Keiya!"

I looked up at the sound of Lu Ten's voice. He sounded _afraid_…?

The next thing I was aware of was something hard and solid knocking me off my Komodo-Rhinoceros. The wind was knocked out of me, but I realized that the clank of my armor was not of hitting the ground, but of armor hitting armor. My attention settled onto Lu Ten's face that was inches from my own. His arms were wrapped around me protectively as he had taken the brunt of the fall. I looked back to where I had been moments before. There was only a pile of boulders in instead. The Komodo-Rhinoceros was…

I rolled of Lu Ten with muttered thanks. It is my role to protect him, not the other way around! Lu Ten rose up to his feet beside me. It was strangely quiet for the battle had ended. The Earthbendershad retreated. The men were alive, albeit a few, but flush with the victory. It was difficult to accept that fact that the battle had only lasted for minutes. I head Lu Ten's ragged breathing next to me. "Don't scare me like that again," He murmured harshly.

I looked at his face, which was tight with emotion and dirt-streaked. A cut was bleeding lightly on his chin. I opened my mouth to respond…the sickness in my stomach slithered up my throat and snaked out of my mouth. The image of the man I had killed was flashing before my vision…the smell…all of the…

I was vaguely startled when I realized Lu Ten was stroking my hair back from my face while I shamed myself openly.

* * *

Life was a way of turning day by day. The journey to Ba Sing Se seemed to last for years at times and at others it passed in the blinking of an eye. There were other battles, but for the most part we marched on and camped when the night came. Lu Ten knew every one of his men and somehow became friends with the ones who dared to keep his company. Most could not forget who he was, while Lu Ten seemed to do that himself. I did not befriend any of the men, nor they me. Lu Ten had several advisers, the highest officers in his unit, who spoke to me occasionally in passing, but no more than that.

Lu Ten was my entire world. A bodyguard does not associate with others unless in protection of the charge. That was what I had been taught at the Society. There had been others in my life though…my long lost friend Kin, Iroh, my father, and Princess Ursa. There had been those in the Society. I had been raised in a secular way, so being around so many people caused me to find it distracting. I was shocked to realize that I am shy of other people, even if I have a mouth. Lu Ten did not know if he had killed anyone in that first skirmish, but eventually he did. He would not admit to the fact that he had shamed himself as I had, but he had done it privately that night after the battle. I had heard him and at the time had itched to comfort him. I held myself back as I had learned to do. There was a rick in such things, for one little slip…

It was in this life that months passed. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. There were stretching days of humdrum marching. There were towns, villages, and the countryside. There were the Earth Kingdom civilians who hated us and there were more minor battles. I killed more men in my own defense and that of Lu Ten. I am not a soldier and was not trained to be in a battlefield. Each time I took a life, something tugged at me. They are the enemy, yet each face…I expected to kill someone some day in the defense of Lu Ten, but not so many in such a short time. I can remember each face. It did not become easier with time. That was what I had been told. I am doing what I am supposed to do, so it should not bother me so. I wonder what....what my father would say.

The day finally came when we had at last arrived at the siege of Ba Sing Se. The army surrounding its massive walls was huge. Iroh was in charge of so many troops, more than I had imagined. They were working on a way to break through Ba Sing Se's outer wall, a feat that has never been done before. Iroh's large and commanding tent was in the center of the encampment, which was naturally behind the front lines. The towering wall of Ba Sing Se stood in the background, just waiting to be toppled to the ground. Lu Ten stood before the flap of the tent with a seeming calm face. He was nervous though, I could tell that much. I felt my own anxiety swell within my stomach. I was going to see my father again! Iroh!

Yet…

Lu Ten opened the red tent flap and strode into the tent. I followed behind him like a shadow. The tent was simple in the inside with its furnishings. Iroh looked up at us from where he had sat at a low table, going over paper work. His eyes, the same as Lu Ten's alighted as he sat up with a grin. "Lu Ten," He said joyfully. Lu Ten hugged his father without another word. There was only one other person in the room, who stood in the background of the tent silently.

…_Father…_

It felt like I had not seen him in years. He slowly walked over to me and looked at me with his sharp, golden eyes. I was surprised to see his face more ragged than I remembered it. He smiled at me as if I were the sun. "Keiya," He said softly.

"Dad," I returned in a small voice. Could he tell? Was everything that visible in me now? He pulled me into a warming embrace. I held my head against his shoulder and knew that I had missed him more than I had known. Even more than I had at the Society. He always seemed to know what was right and I needed him now. He would be able to tell me what was right.

I pulled myself away to see Iroh and Lu Ten waiting patiently. Lu Ten came over with such a brilliant smile that I had not seen in months. "Reizo," He greeted my father. They hugged each other as if they were family. Our family.

Iroh looked at me with his twinkling eyes. I was not used to seeing him in his dark armor. I noticed with an annoyed thought that my father wore no armor. "Little turtle-duck," Iroh teased with a smile, "You've grown even more in these last few months."

"I have not," I replied instantly. I had not grown taller at all for the last several years.

"You're blooming into a beautiful flower," Iroh added with a thoughtful look, "Though a dangerous one, of course."

I laughed for what felt the first time in weeks. It was true though, I was startled to realize as I did. Iroh hugged me with his solid arms and I at last felt the sense of completion. Our family was whole again.

* * *

It was only a short while after that that I stood alone on a hill at the edge of the encampment. Lu Ten's unit seemed pathetic in numbers compared to the size of the Iroh's forces. The tents were all lined in the perfect military lines, the red tents in stark contrast with the yellow, grassed plains. The outer wall of Ba Sing Se stood in the hazy distance. A soft wind caressed my face as I looked out. Iroh was sure to win. He was a brilliant commander and did not have the title "Dragon of the West" for nothing.

The sun was setting behind the formidable wall of Ba Sing Se in bloody red tones. It would be considered a good sign; I thought wryly, to us at least for it our color. I looked to my left at the quiet approach of my father's feet. He came over and stood beside me while looking at the sunset. "Iroh in a meeting with his officers," He stated, "Lu Ten is with him."

"I know."

"You have been strangely quiet," Father commented concerned. I glanced at his searching gaze. He always knew. "What is wrong?"

How could I even begin to explain? My own doubts…about everything…Lu Ten…I swung my head back to my father's face. He would understand. Somehow he always did. "It's not my place to judge the war, but it was always so distant at home. I knew someday I would kill someone to defend Lu Ten, but not soldiers on a battlefield!" My voice started to rise with outright rage. "They're the enemy and I'm not supposed to care! But each time it doesn't get easer…it just…"

Father's face had remained placid in my vehement confession. He put his solid hands on my shoulder and looked at me directly with commanding eyes. "What you feel Keiya, is natural. It is what makes you human," He paused and a dangerous flint formed in his golden eyes. "The Society would have you feel nothing, but it is what you feel that makes you who you are."

I took in his words with a shaky breath. "It would be easier to feel nothing," I remarked with slight embitterment.

"True, but think of the things you would not have if you felt nothing," Father responded simply.

My chest contracted…_Iroh…Father…_

…_Lu Ten….Lu Ten…_

I saw the realization dawn like the morning star in his eyes as they looked into my own. Father released my shoulders with wide eyes. "How long?" He manged to word in a choked voice.

"I always have."

"Not like this," He replied darkly. "I had always feared this would happen."

Hurt speared my chest and anger burnt as well. I had expected him to understand, to tell me what the right thing was! "Feared? You've always taught me that love is a gift!" I snapped. I took a step back from him. "Everything you have taught me usually goes against what the Society taught me. I don't know what is right and wrong because of you!"

I could see the visible pain on my father's face at my words. His lips became a thin line. "I cannot tell you what is right and wrong, that is your own choice to make." He let out a frustrated sigh. "I did not mean to sound like that…I am just…" Father stopped and looked at my face with such an intense look it made me flinch. There was an open bleeding wound there I had not ever thought of. "I do not want your heart to be broken."

My mother had died to bring me into this world. I had always wondered about her. I had always had a missing part within me because of her death. I had not even _once_ considered how it had affected my father. My throat became hard like the earth. "I understand…but I don't know what to do."

Father took my face into his hands with a loving touch of comfort. "Whatever choice you make, I will stand by you. You are my only child. Your name means hope and that is what you have always given me."

* * *

Days passed at the war-front of Ba Sing Se. Lu Ten was always in meetings with his father and when he was not, he trained. Iroh had not yet allowed him to be on the front line. They were close, I had heard, very close to breaking through the wall. I trained and kept guard over Lu Ten. Father and Iroh were there, but distant because Iroh had a siege to take care of. Lu Ten tried to get me train with him one day as I watched him drill…

"_Keiya, come spar with me," He offered with a smile. His training clothes were simple, but close-fitting enough that it made my stomach flutter. I shook my head and stayed where I sat on my knees. Confusion was still mine. My father could not tell me what to do. "I need to train; Keiya and you're a good bender. Dad won't let me fight, even though I've already proven myself!" Lu Ten continued with irritation coming into his last words. I glanced up to see the resentment in his eyes. I had not thought of his frustration from not being allowed at the front line. Personally, I was glad neither to fight nor to have him in it. He was safer here. _

_I would not fight with him. It can be a personal thing, combating a person, certain steps, and certain moves…feelings… _

"_I'm tired, so go fight a Komodo-Rhinoceros!" I quipped annoyed. _

_Lu Ten glared at me. "At least I don't act like one," He snipped in return. _

"_Well, you smell as bad as one right now!"_

"_You…argh!" Lu Ten huffed off without another word. _

_We were both on short tempers. Both of us impatient and angry with our current positions. _

…_Lu Ten…_

That night I slept as I had for months near his sleeping pad. There were times when I was not in the tent of course, but I had become used to seeing a shirtless Lu Ten. Not that it bothered him. Lu Ten was sleeping with his face looking so peaceful. It did not look that way when he was awake anymore. He had always been the calm one. Now he seemed so…angry…like me.

I was angry.

But at who?

I was sitting only several feet away and staring at his sleeping form. I had not been able to fall asleep...when I did, there were only nightmares. "Keiya?" Lu Ten mumbled in a tired tone. His face was turned towards me and quiet alert. "What are you doing?" He sat up slowly.

"I can't sleep."

"Bad dreams?" Lu Ten asked with a tiny smile. "I remember how you used to get them when we were kids."

"You ordered them away," I added with a laugh. Lu Ten's dark golden eyes were trained on mine. I was suddenly very aware of the fact that he was shirtless. Something shined in them that made my heart thud like a war drum.

"Keiya…I…" Lu Ten paused and shook his head. "Go to sleep, little one." He went to settle himself back down on his pad.

"Lu Ten?"

"Yeah?" He stopped and looked back at me.

"Could you still order them away for me?"

Lu Ten chuckled. "Of course, but I don't know if I want to. Do I still smell like a Komodo-Rhinoceros?"

I had somehow slowly scooted over to him this whole time, without even meaning to. I had not been far away to begin with. "No, you don't."

Lu Ten laughed lightly. "Nice to know. Good night, Keiya."

Before I could stop myself, my body made my long, fought over decision for me. I leaned over and _kissed _him. Having no experience in this department, it was strange to be the one to initiate. Lu Ten's lips were warm and there was a moment of shock before he responded. I was surprised by his response. Instead of shoving me away, he deepened the kiss.

It was I who pulled away first. Lu Ten was now sitting up in his bed with his face watching my every gesture. "That…that is quite the way to say good night," He manged to say at last.

My cheeks burnt, but I did not regret it. At least he had not pushed me away in disgust. "I wasn't saying good night," I responded. Lu Ten's eyes widened.

I have always known what I wanted.

I love him.

I wanted him.

I have never done these things before, but for him…I would do anything. I would scale the outer wall of Ba Sing Se or locate the city of the Northern Water Tribe if he ordered me to. When I leaned in to kiss him again, he did not push me away. Lu Ten knew the meaning of my words and kissed me right back the second time.

I did not say those three words, but I felt it with every pound my heart. Each beat was for him.

…_Lu Ten….Lu Ten…_

* * *

After that night…things were always how they had seemed to be during the day, but at night, they were forever changed by my actions. Several weeks passed in this manner, but I did not say anything about how I felt. Lu Ten did not ask or say anything, but I sometimes I thought I saw a look in his eyes. But that was probably what I wanted to see, I reasoned with myself. Even if he did not love me like that or it ended…at least…at least I would have gotten to have him, even if only for a short while.

There came the day that Iroh at last broke through the outer wall of Ba Sing Se. The troops were jubilant with this turn of events. All of us, Iroh, father, Lu Ten, and I had watched the wall at last fall. Lu Ten would be allowed by his father to at long last fight with his troops on the front line. I…I did not want him to and would have agreed with Iroh to tussle him up to keep him from going. Though Iroh would not have admitted it, he kept Lu Ten from fighting because he _feared_ for him.

I was helping Lu Ten put his armor on in his tent. He would at last join the front line and his reunite with his unit. We were both silent as I strapped on his armor. I already mine on. The air seemed to be thick with tension. The tent's walls were a dim red as the sunlight beamed through. I was knotting one tie on Lu Ten's side when Lu Ten grasped my hands with his. He looked directly into my eyes. "Keiya, do you love me?"

I could not avert my eyes from his. They were magnetic with their questioning power. My chest felt as if my heart would be pulled through it by a string. "Yes," I said at long last. "I love you."

"Then…will you marry me?"

My jaw dropped open in complete and utter shock. _Marry him? _But…but…it could not work! He would have to marry someone important for he is a Royal Heir and as for me... "Don't think about how it will work because we'll find a way," Lu Ten continued in a passionate, persuasive tone. His face was waiting with anticipation in its every line. "I love you, Keiya. I always have and I want you to be my wife."

_He loved me. _An intense heat like fire flamed my viens, remind me of the energy from when I firebend. My heart beat was quick and fluttering. _Marry him…All of the ways it was wrong..and yet…it was right…_

I looked directly into his gaze. I knew what I wanted and once again I did not give a damn what the consequences were. _I love him_. "Yes," I answered. Lu Ten pulled me into his arms and his lips were on mine.

* * *

The battle was more chaotic and dangerous than any other we had ever been in. We had marched through the outer wall and had continued into what were farmlands. The Earthbenders were waiting and had ambushed us. There were the sounds of flying earth and hissing flames around me. In the chaos, I had lost sight of Lu Ten as I fought against the enemy. We were outnumbered in this battle. I felt the fear crawl up my spine and into my brain. Finally, I spotted Lu Ten a distance away. He was in the middle of fighting against several Earthbenders. I ducked and rolled to avoid a stray boulder the size of my head. Then I saw it, an Earthbender was preparing to attack Lu Ten from behind. Not on my watch!

I rushed as quickly as I could in his direction, avoiding to be caught in any more distractions with other Earthbenders. "Keiya! Look out!" I looked back at the sound of my father's frantic yell. Reinforcements had arrived, spilling into the battle. He sent a jet of flame that stopped a hurling rock that had been coming towards me. His face was relieved as he saw me unharmed.

I opened my mouth to thank him, but it turned into a scream. "No!" A rock, perhaps a stray one or intended for him, smashed into his head. He fell to the ground with half of his head gone. There was blood everywhere. I stood lost in shock and horror. _No…no…_

_Lu Ten!_

The thought of him made me turn away from my father's corpse. It was too late. I could see Lu Ten sprawled underneath a rock that had crushed him. I ran to him and tried to push the rock away. It was too large. His face was visible and his eyes were open wide. They were blank as if the sun had been driven from them. There was blood pooling around the boulder as I collapsed next to him in numb shock.

Blood…red…our color…

…_everywhere…_

_Lu Ten! Father!...._

_I…No!..._

Something hit me in the back of head, sending me into a world of darkness I hoped not to merge from.

* * *

A/N: I am sorry if this chapter too graphic. I tried to not be gruesome in the descriptions. I found this chapter the most difficult to write of all. Thanks for reading and please review.


	6. From The Ashes

Chapter Six:

From the Ashes

* * *

"_The phoenix hope, can wing her way through the desert skies, and still defying fortune's spite; revive from __ashes__ and rise.__"_ –Miquel de Cervantes Saavedra

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar.

* * *

When I first realized conscious thought from the darkness, it was with a flash of the truest pain and horror. My last memory and thoughts emerged before my closed lids and a scream escaped my lips. Someone's hand touched my shoulder gently. "Keiya!" The voice called boldly. My eyes shot open to see an unfamiliar face staring down at me in concern. "Calm yourself," The man said more softly. He was middle-aged and had the traditional looks of a Fire Nation man. He was dressed in a clean and simple manner. It hurt to move my head as I twisted it to look around my surroundings. There was a line of sleeping pads in the room, most filled with injured soldiers. I was in one of the tents for the injured, thus the man before me was a healer.

I did not close my eyes in the fear that the images would return. I was still in shock. _It could not be…why did I have to live?_ "You received a blow to a head, but you should be fine. There will be some light-headiness and dizziness for the next few days," The man explained with a critical look. I turned my head into my pillow, away from the man's examining gaze. There was nothing inside me now, except for a great cavity that felt nothing except pure anguish. _I had failed. They were dead and because of me!_

The sobs of loss and pity frothed at my lips, but I bit down hard on my tongue to keep from crying. I knew that if I did, it would not stop. The man's hand tenderly touched my shoulder. "Prince Iroh will be coming to see you shortly," He said in a low voice. "And…I am sorry for your loss." I did not look up from my scratchy pillow to look at the kind healer. My whole world was gone, and I with it.

I had lost two out of the three most important people to me in the entire world. I would soon lose the only other person who understood me…the only other person who could have saved me. Pain and self-pity blinded me to his anguish and because of my own fault once more, I would lose the only person left in the world that I loved…

* * *

When Iroh had come to see me, I did not turn to look at him. I could not bear to see his face in the fear that it would be exactly like mine, but marred with hatred for me. He had spoken to me in a voice that I did not recognize, one that was barely in control of burdened pain. "You were gone for a few days, Keiya." His voice paused and he rasped as if he could not breathe. "I plan on withdrawing the troops and going home to the Fire Nation. I will be returning home and I want to know-"

I cut him off in a dead-pan voice that emerged from a throat that felt as if it were being strangled. My back was to him from where I lay on my side on the sleeping pad. "What did you do with them?"

Iroh's sob caught in his throat. "They…they were returned to the fire yesterday." I clenched my fists. I had not even got to say goodbye, but I still could not accept the fact…_all of my fault!_ "Keiya, turtle-duck, look at me," Iroh pleaded. "It wasn't your fault. I don't blame you."

I stayed still. "Keiya!" Iroh pleaded with a moan that was more of a cry.

I still did not look at him, but replied in the voice that was what I had become, one of the complete loss of self. "Keiya is dead. She died with Lu Ten and her father." Iroh tried in vain to talk to me, but eventually he left. That was to be the last time I would ever see him.

The day I left the siege of Ba Sing Se was the day I went to the ashes of the pyres where their remains had been burned....

_I stood before a field where pyres had once been, but now there was only different patches of scorched earth and wood. All that was left of so many. I did not know which ones they had been greeted by into the flames. The sky above was a cheerful blue with a beaming sun. A light wind scattered the golden grass of the field that was now grey from the ashes. I could not help myself as I sank to my knees and felt the vast hollow ache inside me. My heart thudded, but it seemed such a dead thing to me. _

_There were no words I could say. There was nothing I could do now. Keiya was gone…_

_She had died on that battlefield with the ones she had loved. I pulled out one of the only knives I owned and raised it…._

_It was with one quick stroke that I cut off the top-knot I always wore my hair in. It burned up in the flames I sent it in with an acidic smell. Never again would my hair fall long enough to be bound up. _

There is more to the story of how I eventually returned to the Fire Nation, but is only one of weeks of drudgery as I forced myself to continue. There were days when I thought of ending it all, of simply raising a knife to my chest, or perhaps taking poison. Suicide is not an honorable act in the Fire Nation. The only two reasons why I lived were because my father had died to save me. I knew they would want me to live, even if I did not. _Lu Ten…father…_Yet as I had said to Iroh, the girl he had known was dead. The other reason for why I did not end it all was not for me, but for another. The healer, he had been the one to tell me before I left…

_He watched me critically as I made way to leave the healer's tent. "May I speak with you?" He asked calmly. _

_I did not respond, but stopped in order for him to approach me. "There is something you need to know," He said quietly. His expression was guarded. "You're with child, did you know that?" _

_I stared at him agape. Agni…_

_Then I felt just the barest trace and it took me a moment to recall what it was…hope…_

_I was going to have Lu Ten's child. Than reality slapped me across the face. This child would not ever know his father or grandfather because of me. I bowed my head. _

"_Don't end your life," The healer continued, "I have seen the look you have now on many. Live for your unborn child."_

* * *

I left without another word, not caring if the healer suspected who the father was. I was leaving this cursed place. The only place I could go to, the only place free of the haunting memories of my father and Lu Ten was the Center, the place I hated most in the world. I later learned on my return there that Fire Lord Azulon had passed and in his place, Prince Ozai had been crowned, not Iroh. Iroh was the rightful heir as the firstborn, but he had lost…from him there would be no more heirs' presumably. Once this would have outraged me. Yet than…than I did not care, for everything had become surreal to me.

There was nowhere else left for me to turn to, so I went to seek help from a man I detested. He was the only kin I knew of left in the world. He was my dead mother's brother and the Guardian of the Society. Perhaps I might have tried to have found my father's kindred, the very family that protects the Royal Heirs, but I did not know where to seek them out. Their identity was hidden from me, just as their secret was from the world and even themselves…

_I had not spent my whole life at the Center as most do. Instead, I had only spent four years there in my childhood. I did not know any of the secret entrances, so I approached at the main gate. It had been dusk with cold stars gleaming above. A guard had opened the door with suspicious eyes. Not many knew the true meaning of this place and most did not come to it out of mere curiosity. Those who lived on other parts of the island knew to stay away. "Who are you?" The helmeted guard asked sternly. _

"_I'm here to see the Guardian," I said quietly. I do not know what the guard saw in my expression or face, but he let me in without another word. Naturally I was searched and led speedily and covertly about the Center, as if I had never been there before. The guards did not know that, but most did not know about the Society or who led it. I suppose that knowledge had been my key in._ _I spent a long time waiting in a dark corridor under the watchful eye of another guard before I was ushered into the study room that belonged to the Guardian. The room was simply square with two slotted windows across from the entrance. The walls were a bland grey stone. Both joint walls were stacked with shelves of books and a banner of the Fire Nation hung between the two windows. One round carpet with an imprint of a map of the world covered the chilly stones._

_Upon it was a low table where Keitaro had papers spread out before him. He sat on his knees and looked up at me with a nondescript expression. He gestured for me to sit across him. Keitaro's dark eyes analyzed me shrewdly for several terse minutes. "I heard the news," He said at last placidly, "I tried to reach you, but it seemed you had left. Prince Iroh was unable to tell me of what had happened to you. He fears the worst." Keitaro bowed his head, a move which surprised me, even though I did not care. Little mattered to me these days, such could be seen in my disheveled appearance. "I am sorry. Reizo was my friend once," Keitaro continued in a tight voice that did not want to show emotion. "As hard as that may be for you to believe, Keiya."_

"_Don't call me that!" I snapped furious as I felt a surge of bitterness swarm my veins. "That girl died in Ba Sing Se."_

_Keitaro's head rose as he smirked darkly. "I wondered why you returned here. You always detested this place." He looked at me with a cynical face. "Do you know what happens to those who fail their charge?" I nodded. Those who are of the Society, the regular bodyguards, faced punishment from banishment to death depending on the circumstances. Those who protected the Royals…I did not know what rules applied, for so many were different for us. _

"_There's only one reason I returned here for I have nowhere else to turn," I said in a low voice. _

"_What would that be?" Keitaro asked with a trace of mockery._

"_I'm pregnant."_

* * *

Keitaro took me back under his wing into the Society. It was because of my condition that he arranged for me to live on a beach house on the infamous vacationing island for the higher classes of the Fire Nation, Ember Island. It was here for the next few months that I would dwell for the most part in isolation for it was turning to the winter months. Most of the noble families do not vacation there that time of the year. The home I was given had only several rooms, a kitchen area, and a general living space. It was located in a rather secretive alcove on the more unpopulated side of the island. I did not say much in those days and had only stayed at the Society for a week before I had departed for Ember Island.

At the Center, I was kept hidden from everyone else except for several guards. If the others were to know…the Elders….it would not bode well. Keitaro I did not see for days and I was kept in a bland chamber with little to do. He had not spoken to me since my confession of my condition. But frankly, I had not cared at the time. It was always the dreams that bothered me…the only thing that brought about any true emotions. The last day I was there, I was brought to the Guardian's study room once more…

_I sat before him as I had only a week before. Keitaro looked at me with his unnerving black eyes. The hatred I had felt for him in the past was such a mundane thing to me now, what did it matter? Nothing did at all. "You are to stay at Ember Island until you have given birth," Keitaro began in a brisk tone. "You are to depart as soon as you leave this room." He paused and raised a dark eyebrow sardonically. "Do you not care to know more…such as who will be your escort?"_

_I shrugged and looked down at my hands. The nails were bitten to jagged ends. I had not used to bite my nails before. _

"_Your old friend Kin will be going with you. He has no assignment at the moment and I presumed you would like to have someone you know as a…maid and guard," Keitaro added with a note of disdain. "Hopefully he can help you to keep up your appearance at least."_

"_And after that?" I asked in a monotone voice. I did not look away from my hands. _

"_You will come back here," Keitaro replied serenely, "Kin will find a healer to help you with giving birth."_

_There was only one tiny thing that gave me…any sort of desire for a future…the child that grew within me. My child and....Lu Ten's child….Lu Ten's child…. "What about my child?" I inquired stiffly. _

_Keitaro gave me a small smile that almost appeared sorrowful. "You cannot keep this child. Fire Lord Ozai has no threat to his claim for the throne for Prince Iroh seems too heartbroken to challenge him. The people support him for he has heirs and the chance of Iroh ever having any again are slim, if at all," Keitaro explained as if he were talking to a small child. "I know who the father is, though you have not cared to tell me. If this child is a boy…he will be a threat to Ozai."_

"_What if my child is a girl?" I queried, but I already knew the answer._

"_She would not be as much of a threat, but the result is still the same," Keitaro answered me coldly. "The legitimacy could be questioned, but there is that possibility that will threaten this child if Ozai were ever to find out. Besides, no royal child could be raised in the Society to be a bodyguard…the very idea is revolting." _

"_What will happen?"_

"_Your child will be safe and well-cared for," Keitaro amended almost sympathetically, but he frowned heavily as he spoke. "That is all you need to know."_

_When I stepped out of the room, I was almost surprised to not be greeted by one of the usual guards, but instead by a tall man in the traditional simple garb of the Society. He had light golden skin and the golden eyes that are usual of the Fire Nation. His dark brown hair was pulled into a top-knot and one scar ran across his jawbone. His face was elegant in way and he did not have facial hair as most men of our nation do. "Hello Keiya," He greeted me with a small nod of his head. "It has been a long time."…Kin… _

_He had been my friend once, long ago when we were children, training in the same class together. Till the age of nine when a student goes to train with one teacher. He had stayed here as was proper, while I had left. I vaguely recalled the grief I had felt at the time at leaving him behind. Yet at this time anger caressed me as I heard that name. "Don't call me that!" I hissed with glaring eyes. _

_Kin looked at me in shock, but nodded his head. "Alright, what do you want me to call you then?" _

"_Nothing."_

_Kin masked any expression as we both had been taught to do. "As you wish," He amended agreeably. "Come, we must be going to the dock." _

The next few months passed at Ember Island. Kin was my only companion. He was my caretaker in many ways for I was a pregnant woman. He was also my protector I suppose. I dreamed most of the time…of the past and of what my child would be like. The child could not be raised by me. Keitaro was right….There was also an unspoken fear that resided in me…that I would destroy this child…everyone I had loved was gone because of me! Even Iroh must hate me because of what I had done and I had rejected him when he needed my help…_and I had needed his._

Kin was not the same boy I remembered. He spoke as little as I did in those days and did whatever needed to be done for me. He was always there. Sometimes at night to pass the time, he would tell stories, even sing a song on the occasion. Kin was a bodyguard and had protected various charges in the last year since he had reached the full status of a bodyguard. Around the same time I had. He told me of what had happened over the years and what he had learned. Kin was a fighter, a survivor. He had passed our brutal training without even being a fire bender as most usually are. My training had been easy in comparison…I had had love and family. He had none of those things. I had been his only friend and that had been long ago.

I could describe all the details of those months, of the quiet peace that was there, a sort of tranquility that in ways almost helped me to find myself again. I could tell of all the new things I learned of what it is to be pregnant and its more unpleasant sides. In short, Kin did find a healer woman for me when the time came. It was long and painful, but I brought a son into the world. I would only hold that squalling, red faced child in my arms for several minutes…

_The healer woman smiled at me kindly and moved to take him from my arms. I shook my head and held him closer. He was mine! "What is his name?" She asked kindly. _

_I had thought of names over the months, wondering if I would even be allowed to name him. A name had struck me, one that should be rightfully his for he was Lu Ten's son. Lu Ten Taro...Lu Ten's son…That name could not be given; there would be too much risk. "Xiao-Si," I managed to choke out. The healer nodded and took my son from my arms. I did not try to hold him back. When she walked out the door with Xiao-Si who cried loudly, I at long last let out a pathetic wail. I had not cried since waking up in the healer's tent in Ba Sing Se and I did so than with no holding it back._

_Kin came to the room soon after and had somehow managed to taken me into his arms. He brushed my short hair and made soothing sounds. When I finally stopped in my pathetic cries, I looked up at his golden gaze. There was something in them, just a flash; of something I could vaguely recognize. It was soon gone. "She said you named him Xiao-Si," He said softly, "It means respectful heir…who was his father?" _

_I shook my head. "He's gone," I bubbled out painfully, "Just as she took him from me…" A sob erupted from my raw throat. Kin only held me in his arms as I let the rain fall._

* * *

That would be last time I would ever be weak like that again. Soon after I returned to the Center with Kin. It is a longer story of what was to follow over the next six years. When I returned, I was with Keitaro all of the time, learning from him, being instructed in the traditions of the Society. Eventually I realized that the hatred I held for him was long gone and in its place I felt a sense of companionship. He had no one, just as I did. We were family and in that we found an uneasy sort of friendship one could say. There came the day when the Elders found out the truth of his actions. A Guardian is supposed to hold that position for life. Keitaro was demoted from his status and given the rank of a teacher, a leniency for his previous leadership of the Society. Somehow, I did not ask how or why, I became the Guardian in his place. All those months following my return he had been grooming me to be his successor.

I will not list the duties that this required or the traditions for such things are forbidden. I am not that stupid either. The Society would be led by my stern hand for the next six years. I did not let the rules be broken for I had lost everything because of that. There would be order. Tradition would be respected and followed. Order. Tradition. That was my life. I led myself to become the definition of those things I came to hold dear. I would not be the weak girl I had once been. She was gone…Keiya was dead.

Keitaro came to be the teacher of Nira, my cousin who was to become the bodyguard of the now Crown Prince Zuko. I remembered the boy prince and knew of Princess Ursa's disappearance around the same time as my return to the Fire Nation. As the Guardian, I had inherited my own network. I never found out the truth behind Ozai's crowning, Fire Lord Azulon's death, and her disappearance. It was a tangle of truths that led nowhere. The only ones that knew what had really happened were them.

There came the day when Crown Prince Zuko was banished after a failed Agni Kai with his father. He had spoken out of turn in a war meeting. He was banished from the Fire Nation and sentenced to find the Avatar. Only than when he found him would he be allowed to return home. A fool's quest, so to speak. Nira was to accompany him. I had kept an eye on her over the years and at long last met her. A girl of not even fourteen years with bright blue eyes. She was not a firebender like most of our family and those of the Society. She had been the proper bodyguard. I would not ever have suspected her of anything unusual.

I did not find out what had happened to my son. Keitaro had hidden him from me. Than I did not really try to find him. The child was better off without me. The Society was all I had left now. Keitaro. And there was....Kin. He had refused to take any other assignments after Xiao-Si's birth and had stayed at the Center to become a teacher. He and Keitaro were the only who I confided in at all, though there things I could not tell Kin. Keitaro knew everything, therefore he was my closest adviser.

I am writing this all down in an account before I leave the Center today, for I do not know when I will return. Yesterday I met the Nira again after almost a whole year since she had left with Prince Zuko. He had returned only weeks ago and has been reinstated to all that was rightfully his. His prodigy sister and he are revered heroes for they have conquered Ba Sing Se…as Iroh had failed to do…and Crown Prince Zuko has _killed the Avatar_. Even now I find the news impossible to believe, even more that the Avatar had been some air nomad child. Yet Nira had not returned with him for she had apparently died in the failed siege of the Northern Water Tribe. A replacement was quickly dispatched to be his newest bodyguard, an experienced bodyguard of the Society.

It was an interesting event to say the least when young Nira returned, apparently to say goodbye to Keitaro of all people. A young Water Tribe man had followed her and was incidentally killed by accident. I met with her several days after keeping her imprisoned, my curiosity getting the better of me. Why had she not returned to her charge?...

* * *

_I leaned against the cold stone railing, looking out over the green hills. This spot on the Western wall was my favorite place at the Center. I looked over at Nira's petite frame as she walked in my direction precariously from the stairs. She bowed and looked at me with haunted blue eyes. This girl had changed much since I had last seen her. Keitaro had told me all of what he had learned when I had questioned him, though he had fidgeted to do so. "There is no need for formalities," I said silkily. "Now that you know the truth, cousin." She looked at me in surprise with a hint of suspicion. "You have changed very much," I continued with a tilt of my head. "You were planning on leaving the Fire Nation for good…you did not intend to return to the Crown Prince. Why?"_

_Nira looked away from my searching eyes. "I am not who I was. I found a life outside of this one." I could help the smile that stretched across my face. I was not used to such facial actions anymore, but this girl…secretly I applauded her. _

"_Interesting," I commented in a humored tone. "That is very interesting."_

_Nira stared at me defiantly. "What do you plan to do with me?" She asked flatly. This girl had devolved spine since I had met her! _

"_What do you think I should do?" I asked in return with my grin growing wider._

"_As the Guardian, you should have me imprisoned or killed for my betrayal," Nira stated with her eyes not leaving mine. "But as a woman who once loved, you should let me go."_

_A strange urge twisted inside me to slap her, but a maniac laughter escaped from my throat instead. "Daring at last!" I cried in humor, hiding anything from else from my voice. "You were so quiet and obedient the last time I saw you. Look at you now, all bristled to fight for your freedom." She reminded me now of what…of what I had once been like. I hated her for it. "Love is a dangerous thing. Do you still want it, even if it can destroy you?" I asked her._

"_I will do what I want," Nira retorted simply, "I make my own path." This girl stood before me, ready to do what she had to do for what she wanted. Nira was a changed girl…woman. She knew who she was and I…I…_

"_If I let you go, you know what that means?" I asked her. She nodded and my grin returned. "I did not think you would be one to rebel. I suppose my estimation of you was mistaken." I commented in an almost apology. I casually gestured toward the stairs. "You are free to leave."_

"_My belongings?"_

"_Ah, yes." I said quietly. I pulled out the peculiar necklace that had been found on her. It was engraved with the shape of a lily. I had learned from a source that it is the sort of necklace used in the Northern Water Tribe as a betrothal necklace. I wondered who Nira had fallen for. "This is an interesting necklace," I noted. Nira's eyes widened as she heard my words. I tossed the necklace towards her which she caught swiftly. "I hope he is worth it. A man will be at the bottom of the stairs with the rest of your things. He will escort you out of the center." Nira bowed and headed for the stairs. "Nira?" I called, she turned back towards me. "See him and then leave. Do not come back to the Fire Nation. Ever." _

_Nira nodded once more and left without another word. I knew why she had returned to the Fire Nation, it had always been obvious to me. She loved her charge. I wonder if it is a curse for my family to love the Royals that we protect. Reizo…my father…had loved Iroh like a brother. And I…_

_I looked back to the green ridges that protected the Center from most sides. Soon the sun would be setting. I was not surprised when Keitaro silently joined me. "You let her go," He said at last in a neutral tone. "The Elders will not like this, but I suppose they may not find out the truth." I did not say another word. Keitaro liked to talk when he wanted to and this was one of those moments. "Tell me, did you let her go because she reminded you of what you had once been?" _

"_If that is how you see it," I said indifferently. I looked over at Keitaro's dark eyes and was surprised to see them shadowed._

"_She hates me, just as you do."_

"_I do not hate you now," I replied casually. "The only reason I ever did was because you had hated me."_

"_You reminded me of her," Keitaro said in a dark voice. He looked away from my stunned gaze that I quickly hid. "My sister…I did not want the same for you. I clearly failed you just as I did my sister, and now my student Nira…"_

_I shifted about uncomfortably as I felt the first spark of sympathy for this man, my uncle. He had lost everything he had come to care about, like I had. "I only know of one who has left the Society," I said, changing the subject. "And has lived free of it, except for this newest case. Do you know what became of him?"_

"_Tadao?" Keitaro replied, quickly returning to his normal self. "The lost bodyguard of Ozai. He disappeared the same night as Princess Ursa did." _

_I wondered why, but did not think that thought aloud. "I am leaving the Center," I abruptly said, "You will be charge while I am gone."_

_Keitaro chuckled with no humor. "The Elders will not like this either. Where are you going?" I had left before on matters pertaining to the Society. This was not unusual. _

"_To find my son."_

_Keitaro's face blanched. "I cannot tell you where he is. You know I will not."_

"_I will be gone a month or so," I continued, ignoring his words. "Can you do this for me?"_

_Keitaro bowed his head without another word. He did not break tradition. "Yes, Guardian." _

* * *

_Soon after, I walked towards the study room that was now mine, intent on writing my story for I would be leaving the next day. I might not return, but Keitaro did not need to know that. I did not even know myself. There was no time to waste. Kin was waiting for me by the doorway, perfect timing for I needed him. "I am leaving tomorrow," I said shortly, "and you are coming with me."_

_Kin raised a dark brown eyebrow and unfolded his arms. "Why is that, Guardian? I am a teacher, I am supposed to stay at the Center," He said in a respectful voice with a hint of something more. _

"_You are the only one who besides Keitaro who knew were the healer took my son," I explained evenly. "You are going to tell me where he is."_

_Kin smiled at me broadly. There was something there…something so heartbreakingly familiar. "As you wish," He replied. He always used those words and I knew what he meant by them. It would not ever be for it could not be. All my love was gone, except for my son who was lost to me. But not for long_.

I write this now, finishing what is my story. I am going to find my son. What will happen next I cannot say. I was once Keiya, bodyguard of Lu Ten. I was the beloved daughter of Reizo, bodyguard of Iroh. I once had a place in the heart of the rightful heir to the throne as family. I was loved by Lu Ten and I loved him.

He and my father died because of me. I will not ever forget that.

Now I am the Guardian of the Society and mother of Xiao-Si. I am going to find him. There will be more to the story as time goes on, but that will be the story of the Guardian. Mother of Xiao-Si. Keiya's story in truth ended that final day at Ba Sing Se. Yet somehow I can see a certain hope for myself….perhaps…

No, things cannot change. I dream of my father and of Lu Ten. They are gone, but one day…I will be with them again.

This is my truth.

* * *

A/N: This is the end for My Truth. Tell me what you think. On a side note, the idea for Kin saying "As you wish" was borrowed from movie Princess Bride. Don't want to plaragize here, so that's that. Thanks for reading and please review. There is going to be a sequel to my main story Some Distant Day and these characters may be seen again (hint!) This story is to be called Some Fine Day.


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